5 Benefits Gained From Leaving a Toxic Relationship

“I can’t breathe”, Jenny (not her real name) was overwhelmed with frustration from a relationship that had ripped her sense of self from her. In the midst of the tears the only words to escape undeniably was that phrase.

After our session ended I couldn’t help think that I had also been in one that didn’t allow me to breathe. My then partner was uncomfortable with me progressing and wanted me to stay in a zone where he didn’t feel intimidated. I knew to grow as a person that I had to leave the relationship, if I was to rediscover myself.

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It is undeniable that each and every individual even the most reclusive person after a period of isolation seeks to interact if only briefly with other humans.

Unfortunately at times in life because of our desire to have companionship we settle for less than ideal relationships. We are in no way perfect and must accept others also with the flaws that we all possess. It is not a perfect relationship strived for but one that facilitates the growth and development of each other.

Toxic relationships can take so many forms from jealousy, control, physical abuse, emotional abuse.

In many instances when the toxic relationship is with a significant other, it is difficult to walk away, not because you don’t know it is toxic but that’s all you have ever known and in some way, the uncomfortable becomes comfortable.

However, to love and grow yourself, you must be willing to walk away from the convenience or comfort zone of these toxic relationships.

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There are many benefits gained, but it can only be realized when you leave.

You can be free to learn who you can become in the space to do so. Who are you really when you can think, pursue your dreams and live life without a continuous sense of uncertainty and anxiety. This opportunity presents itself when you walk away from a toxic relationship.

You learn to be confident in your abilities. All of us have talents and abilities, criticism that seeks to bring down but not uplift is in no way useful and after hearing for a long time all that is wrong about you, you forget what is right. Having the space away from a toxic relationship presents the opportunity to begin to discover and build confidence in your talents and abilities as you venture out into pursuing your dreams and goals in actionable ways.

You learn to not depend on others — We all in one way or the other have to depend on others. However, in toxic relationships the person who is exposed to the abuse, believe they have to stay because they have to depend on the other person most times for financial support. As you discover your talents it opens the door to financial opportunities that frees you from dependence on that partner or any other in the future.

You develop new thriving skills — We are all created for a purpose, as you are freed to pursue and discover you, you learn that you don’t have to stay in unhealthy relationships to grow.

You recognize you thrive in being you, discovering you and growing yourself. It is only when you can grow as a person that you can then be in a place to appreciate and truly value your own worth.

You grow to love and value you and settle for nothing less than the best for you. When you love yourself, you no longer settle for mediocrity from anyone, you recognize and value you and anyone who comes into your space, must also value you. It’s okay if they don’t, but you would no longer allow them to stay.

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Relationships are complex.

Yet those that seek to bring you down, always sees the worse in you and control through manipulation and criticism are quite unhealthy.

There are many reasons persons stay in unhealthy relationships. Sometimes they have grown so accustomed to unhealthy that they don’t even know what a healthy relationship will look like.

It takes courage to discover and then step out of it.

When you do, you find strengths, opportunities and a new found love of self, which wouldn’t have been possible if you stayed.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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