I met this guy who I really like and he likes me too plus he says he loves me but I’ve been in a relationship where I thought my partner truly loved me and it turned out he was just using me. And I don’t want to avoid relationships because of what happened so I have to be careful by not ignoring red flags and observing carefully to make sure the guy is really in love with me.
Navigating the ways of a man’s heart is also often painted as a complex puzzle that many have tried to solve, but none have really nailed. But here’s the unsettling — and comforting — truth: men, when they love, they love fully, deeply, undeniably.
Think Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, John Cusack’s every 80s movie role, or your high school crush who scrawled ‘forever’ on the back of your notebook. Yes, even our favorite tough guys with their grizzled exteriors and stoic facades can’t hide the telltale signs when love seizes them.
If you’re like me and you also want to know how men are when they’re completely in love I have done my research and I found 5 things men do when they’re in love.
Understanding a man’s actions
Love is so much more than mere words — it’s a daily, living expression. For men, especially, actions can speak so much louder than they will ever say. From little quirks to grand gestures, there are undeniable ways a man shows his whole-hearted love.
So, lean in, because we’re about to broach a topic that’s veiled in societal machismo and ribbing about “being whipped,” but at its core is deeply human. I can say with certainty that love, at its truest, is not a game. It is a commitment that transforms the way men act, and the things they do. Let’s delve into what these actions look like and why they matter.
The consistent effort and attention
When a man rearranges his work schedule to attend family functions, remembers the littlest details of a conversation, or surprises you with a meal on a simple Monday to recreate your first date, that’s the kind of consistent attention love commands.
It’s in the reliability of his actions, in the ‘always there for you’. This isn’t just about being the proverbial knight in shining armor; it’s about being present in all your moments, simple and monumental alike.
This consistency speaks volumes. You become his compass, the reference point for his day, the driving force behind his efforts. It’s not because you can’t handle your world alone, but rather, he cannot bear the thought of not being the one to relish in it with you.
Emotional vulnerability
For many, the concept of a strong man is so ingrained it borders on stereotype. But when a man is head over heels, the walls come down.
It’s the softening in his gaze, the quiver in his voice when he speaks of his deepest fears or grandest dreams. Opening up emotionally is by no means easy, for anyone. Yet, for a man who is truly in love, vulnerability isn’t a battle — it’s something he does willingly to meet you in the middle.
He wants you to know him, understand his past, and share in his world. His love is not domineering but inviting.
He wants you to see all of him, not just the parts that polished for work or social occasions. In his safety, he finds peace, trusting you with a part of himself that he may not have had the courage to share otherwise.
Priority
We’re living in an age where ‘busy’ is the buzzword of choice, where the currency of time is higher than ever.
In this hustle, to find yourself consistently at the top of a man’s to-do list is not an easy feat. When love grows strong, it rearranges the list of priorities. It’s not a matter of clearing the decks for you; it’s understanding that together, you are stronger.
In practical terms, it’s that “I had a tough week, but I’m going grocery shopping because you dislike the crowds,” or the missed social engagements to be at your side when your world crumbles.
Prioritizing the relationship isn’t about checking off a list of acquired couples’ hobbies; it’s integrating ‘us’ into every part of his life. You become a part of his identity, his daily routine, and his long-term plan.
Support and encouragement
A man’s love goes beyond normal protection to offer a hand in lifting the load of life. When deeply in love, a man’s goal shifts. It’s not about proving he can be your rock; it’s about ensuring you know he is there for you.
This isn’t to say he steps in at every bump in the road; rather, it’s about being the quiet, unwavering figure in the background, whispering belief when you forget to do so for yourself.
He listens to your wildest ideas, cheers you on, and has an unwavering belief that you have the strength to conquer the mountain before you.
His love isn’t just in words; it’s actionable.
It means showing up to cheer during the marathon race and practicing the speech that steadies your nerves before a big presentation.
Unconditional love
We all have our moments of darkness and doubt, and to be met with understanding and love even in our least lovable moments, is the most liberating feeling.
Unconditional love doesn’t mean never having to say you’re sorry or that flaws don’t count. It means embracing the entirety of a person — their quirks, insecurities, past, and present — without trying to change them.
It’s the quiet nod when your playlist of sing-a-long 80s ballads is broken up by a particularly dark, brooding number. It’s the fierce defense offered to safeguard your dreams when the world seems hell-bent on destroying them. In this space of acceptance, a man’s love is truly seen — raw and resilient, just like he sees you.
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When men are deeply in love, they do so with a dedication that is both inspiring and, quite frankly, overwhelming.
This isn’t about meeting a checklist to deem someone worthy of your love; it’s about recognizing these gestures when they grace your life, and in turn, reciprocating them.
A man’s deep love isn’t one-size-fits-all, and not every man will express it in the same way. But when it grips them, when it truly takes root and blooms, its presence is as undeniable as the dawn.
It’s in the way they listen, in their priorities, in the undying support they offer, and in the acceptance that they extend.
So, take a moment, observe him, and ask yourself, “Is this how I’m loved?” If the answer is a resounding ‘yes,’ cherish it. If not, well, perhaps love’s presence has yet to awaken in both your hearts.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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Photo credit: Andra C Taylor Jr on Unsplash