5 Lessons I Learnt From My Engagement

As we ascended the mountain to catch the sunrise, I got more nervous by the minute. We had started just before six AM to get a good view of the sun rising in the Alps.

So, geared up with the camera and tripod, I searched for a perfect place for the photo.

After a 50-minute climb, I had found the perfect spot. A small green hill overlooked the mountains. It was a magical scene. I took the photos that served as a cover-up for my real purpose of that morning.

I asked my girlfriend if she could help me proofread a story I’d written about the two of us. I went on to elaborate on our time together, including a lot of highs and lows. As the story progressed, she got more emotional by the minute as she now guessed what was going to happen.

As our story came to the present, I dropped down on my left knee and popped the question. An uncontrollable flow of emotions exited her eyes as she said yes! Never before have I been so happy to hear those words.

Our engagement occasionally still feels like a dream come true. But it happened and taught me many powerful lessons on the human body and personal growth.

Here are five.

1. You need the right mindset

I finished my final university exams end of July. Even though I had the ring ready, my mind was on a different planet.

Forcing an engagement when you are too busy working or studying won’t feel right. I waited for my mind to calm down and refocus on the future of our relationship.

Some say I waited too long. Over five years of dating seems like an eternity. But we had both concluded that the moment had to be special.

You only get engaged once in your life. You might as well do it with the right mindset.

2. It’s all about the two of you

Your best friend, parents and social media will give you preconceived ideas of what an engagement must be like.

Don’t listen to them. Instead, find commonalities between you and your significant other. Then combine them to make the perfect engagement.

I felt huge pressure to have the perfect engagement. An Instagram account on engagements created an unrealistic vision in me that my girlfriend nor I liked. Yet, I was still glued to the content they posted there and aimed to make my engagement just as epic.

In the end, I had overcomplicated the matter. We both liked hiking and writing. So we hiked up a mountain, and I read her my story. It was perfect.

My advice to those planning an engagement:

Make it about the two of you. Find something you love and weave it into the proposal. Chances are you’ll get a yes.

3. Find out if you want to follow traditions

My girlfriend and I had often talked about traditions. She felt it was appropriate to ask her dad for permission before asking the question.

While you as a reader might oppose this stand, it’s still important to agree on the procedure. Old customs don’t need to be bad.

At the end of the day, her parents raised her to be the girl I love. That in itself is worth paying credit.

4. No one will tell you when to propose

I always thought there’d be some intervention signalling the time to propose. Well, sadly, that’s not the case. No one will tell you when you need to propose.

Your girlfriend will most probably hint she’d like a ring on her finger. But often, that’s a tease. For us, it became a standing joke, which regularly gave us something to laugh about.

You’re the one who decides when it’s time. We both knew that I first needed to finish my exams to have a clear mind. Maybe other tasks need to be done first.

Know that the right time will come. And when it does, jump on the opportunity. It’s well worth it.

5. Let your family know first

Once the deed is done and you have the happiest girl by your side, it’s time to let the world know. Well, maybe not that fast.

When we got down the mountain, we told our youth camp about the mornings’ events. Then we called our parents, grandparents to let them know first. It seemed right to tell them in person. Reading about your grandson/daughters engagement on Facebook or Instagram seemed wrong.

Those video calls made our day more special. Every person we talked to couldn’t contain their joy for us.

It was magical.

Everyone is different

No two people are alike. And that’s perfect.

Likewise, no two engagements should be alike. You both have individual interests and things that bring you joy.

With these five points, I looked at personal lessons from my proposal. If you resonated with any of them, I’m happy to continue the conversation in the comments.

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Previously Published on medium

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