Grandparents. A strange word when you stop to think about it. In French, it literally translates as “big parents”. My memories of mine are that they were actually quite small. Well, in stature at least.
They were big where it counts, though, in the love, experience, and wisdom they shared. Grandparents carry the past like a gift waiting to be opened when we’re old enough to appreciate the contents and have a directness and gentle irreverence as a result of surviving times so tough most of us probably can’t comprehend how they kept going.
My mother’s Mum, who I called Gran, was one such lady. Some of my most vivid and happy memories are of the days I spent in my mid to late teens visiting for lunch and staying to watch an afternoon of black and white movies together.
Gran had some great stories and turns of phrase that I often didn’t understand but stuck limpet tight to my subconscious.
Here are 5 of her best ones.
***
Don’t put off to tomorrow what could be done today
This one sometimes got shortened to “Tomorrow never comes, darling”. I hear this phrase going off like a klaxon in my head when I’m considering whether I have time to watch another YouTube video on an interesting new side hustle or get on with something more tangible.
Life can move so fast, circumstances change quickly and so much is at our fingertips that we can be lured onto the siren’s rocks of ‘busyness’ and fooled into thinking there isn’t time to do what needs to be done as we’ve got so many things to do.
No productivity hack gets you past a tendency to delay what needs to be done. Old school is best here! Break down the activity or action into simpler steps and use a simple ‘To Do’ list that can be checked off and will help build momentum for other tasks. I make mine in the evenings for the following day and put them in a bulleted calendar reminder.
It’s old advice, but it’s still around because it works!
***
What’s before you won’t go past you
When life is in some turmoil and you feel like you’re tumbling end over end, this talks to the belief that you’ll land the right way up, whatever that may look like for you. I think this thought above all the others has contributed most to my optimistic outlook on life.
Of course, life rarely allows you to nail a pinpoint landing when you’ve tumbled off its pommel horse. If you believe that you’ll see the opportunity you’re looking for, or that it will find you when your world is whirling around you, this thought helps provide a more objective platform to land on. Staying calm helps you focus and enables the hard work to be done that ultimately unearths the opportunities that are there.
And hard work is the key to this one. Gran was not the sort of lady who believed in serendipitous fairy dust to get you where you wanted to go. The recipe she taught me was one of honesty, dedication, and hard work. I think the South African golfer, Gary Player covered the ‘fairy dust’ angle pretty well when he said:
The harder I practice, the luckier I get!
***
Treat others as you would like to be treated
Whether you got this one during religious education at school or as lessons in how to get along with others that your parents delivered after a bloody nose at a kid’s party, I’m guessing this is a familiar thought to many of us.
To me, it captures the essence of being fair and thoughtful to one another. Now, more than ever, I think the world could do with more of that thinking. The rise of technology and our ability to accomplish tasks in minutes instead of the hours they used to take has created a culture of unrealistic expectations on how long any task should take.
Consider that people now carry a mountain of deliverables on the same structure that my Gran and her generation had. Yes, our tools have improved beyond imagination from previous generations, but we’ve still only got 1 back and 2 hands to handle the load while expectations have gone up exponentially.
Many of us struggle to successfully navigate the new vistas opening at speed in front of us as technology hurtles along. One person’s productivity tool is another’s cattle prod. The need for greater empathy is becoming ever more critical to ensure the healthy development of broader society.
***
Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash
Without love we have nothing
Love is a universal human emotion. You can see it expressed in images and video everywhere around the world. You can see people in love with one another and sometimes themselves, expressing love for their country, community, friends, lifestyle … the list goes on.
Gran was wise, born before her time, and looked beyond simply the love we have for our families and partners. Long before Wet Wet Wet dominated the UK Singles Chart in 1994, Gran had been saying, “Love is all around us” for years. She didn’t express this in a saccharine “I’d like to teach the world to sing” way (I still love that song though), her perspective was more practical.
Love is to have passion for at least one person or thing that makes life worth living, elevating it beyond simple existence. Try to find what makes you passionate and dig into that as deep as you can go. Don’t fall into the doom loop that a busy mind will try to confuse you with. There is always time to prioritize your search for something you love.
Whatever your passion might be, it rarely appears like a hero kicking in the door at the 11th hour to save the day. Be prepared to go prospecting. A little dirt under the nails never hurt and, while there may be some fool’s gold disappointment, stay open-minded and keep looking. You’ll find your own nuggets eventually.
***
What a lot of p*sh
You will need to insert your own vowel, but if I tell you that Gran had a very healthy intolerance for BS of any kind, it shouldn’t be that hard to find the right one.
In both developed and developing economies around the world, the pace of social, economic, and environmental change is accelerating so quickly, it feels like there is less and less rigour being applied to the analysis of new thinking and ideas. The case of the influencer Belle Gibson, who claimed her cancer was being beaten with clean living alone, is a case in point. The true extent of the damage done to those that followed her guidance, when at their most vulnerable, will probably never be known.
In the global maelstrom that was 2020, consider how many of the millions of desperate people looking to protect themselves and their families considered implementing the musings of a sitting US President that injection with something normally used to clean floors was a good idea.
With so many having to work from home or wait under furlough conditions, how many have been hooked by a “get rich quick” scheme? How many of you spent a few hours on a free course, but in getting to the end found the real goods required hitting an upsell button and paying a chunk of change to get to the streets paved with gold on the other side?
The web is a receptacle for humanity’s tribal knowledge. We now have the capability to educate ourselves to a level of lived experience beyond our years, in a way that has never been possible for so many at the same time.
Use that capability and don’t be afraid to ask awkward questions when someone in apparent authority is waxing lyrical about something that doesn’t make sense to you. Your questions may provide illumination for others and the thinking required to provide answers may improve an interesting and worthwhile endeavour.
On the other hand, if you’re not convinced, you can just think like Gran and move on.
***
To wrap up, here’s a reminder of what I got from my Gran:
- Don’t put off to tomorrow what could be done today … less scrolling, more doing
- What’s before you won’t go past you … stay positive, work hard for your opportunities
- Treat others as you would like to be treated … play fair, be thoughtful
- Without love we have nothing … find and share your passion
- What a lot of p*sh … educate yourself, ask the awkward questions, speak your mind
—
This post was previously published on Medium.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
 |
 |
 |
 |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Askar Abayev from Pexels
