5 Things to Know Before You “Netflix and Chill” With Someone

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Transcript provided by YouTube. Slightly edited by AI.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the channel! It’s been a crazy week. I wanted to get back to basics and do a video for you on the five things you need to know before you go on Netflix and chill with someone.

Before I dive into the video, I want to share some exciting news: my book came out this week! It’s been a huge, crazy week, and so many of you have contributed to the success of this book by ordering a copy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support.

I wanted to level with you—tomorrow is the final day that week one book sales count for the New York Times list. Getting on that list is not about vanity. I’ve been on that list before with my first book. The reason we want to get on the list is that it creates more publicity around the book. More publicity means the book will reach people who need it—people who may not even know who I am but need what’s in this book to be happier, more confident, and to value themselves more.

So, if you find value in my work, whether it’s from a video I made last week or 17 years ago, it would mean the world to me if you grab a copy of the book. I’m going to keep making free videos and writing free newsletters because I love doing this and being on this journey with you. If you want to support me, it would mean so much. The link to get the book is right here. Thank you to everyone who has ordered and to everyone who does as a result of this video. I’ll let you know next week if we made it!

Netflix & Chill on a Second Date?

This video is inspired by one of my Love Life Club members who shared a story about a guy who invited her on a Netflix and chill date on their second date. Now, I don’t see that as an automatic red flag, but when she told me the story, someone in her life suggested that he obviously just wanted to have sex with her. This threw her off because she liked the guy, had a nice time, and didn’t think anything inappropriate would happen. She had already agreed to the plan, so she was wondering what to do next.

So, I want to give you five things to consider if you find yourself in a similar situation.

Aligning With the Results You Want

First, you are always entitled to set the pace in your dating life. If you’re not comfortable with going to someone’s house at this stage, it’s okay to say so. You can even make a joke out of it, like saying, “It’s a little soon for me to go to your place.” Suggest an alternative like going to a movie or having dinner out. Remember, you set the pace, and don’t let someone push you off it just because you had a great time with them.

Decide Your Boundaries Ahead of Time

Second, if you do decide to go over, set your boundaries beforehand. This is crucial because, when you’re in the moment, your desires might cloud your judgment. Decide what you’re comfortable with—like having dinner, watching a movie, or kissing—before you get there. This helps you stick to your path and avoid making decisions in the heat of the moment that might not align with your long-term goals.

When Familiarity Tricks You

Third, don’t let the familiarity of being at someone’s house create a false sense of intimacy. Even if it feels cozy and comfortable, remember you’re still on a date and not in a full-blown relationship. The setting might make things feel more serious than they are, but don’t let that trick you into thinking you’re further along in the relationship than you actually are.

Don’t Change Your Behavior Just Because of This

Fourth, don’t do anything in their home that you wouldn’t do in a different setting, like an outdoor movie theater. If you wouldn’t engage in certain behaviors in a public place, don’t do them just because you’re in a private setting. Keep your behavior consistent with the context of your date.

Setting a Precedent for Effort

Fifth, don’t let a Netflix and chill date set a precedent for how much effort is expected in the relationship. If the person starts to see this as the norm for dates, it might become a pattern where minimal effort is put into planning dates. Remind them that dating involves more than just hanging out at home; you still expect varied and thoughtful efforts from them.

A Word on Safety

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention safety, especially for women. Going to someone’s home when you don’t know them well comes with certain risks. If you’re uncomfortable or unsure, get to know them better in a public setting first. If you do decide to visit, let loved ones know where you are and check in regularly. Safety should always come first.

A Whirlwind of a Week + A Heartfelt Thank You

Thank you so much for watching this video and for all your support with my new book, *Love Life*. It’s been an incredible week with appearances on CBS with Gail King, Drew Barrymore’s show, and Oprah Daily. I’m thrilled you’ve been along for the ride. Thank you for the love, encouragement, and support. I’m excited for you to read the book and hear your thoughts. For those who haven’t yet, you can get a copy at [the book’s website](https://lovebook.com).

If you ordered a copy by May 4th, I look forward to seeing you at our event with giveaways, including signed books, Love Life sweatshirts, and more. Make sure you register your purchase at lovebook.com to claim your ticket. Thanks again, everyone!

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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