Today is one of my best friends’ birthdays, and I keep thinking — why have we been friends for so long? I have a few friends, not a ton, but the ones I do have, are very close to me. They mean the world to me, and I consider them family.
I started to wonder — what makes my best friends, best friend material? What about them is so admirable? How did they make the cut while so many others remain acquaintances? If you want to be a best friend or find your best friend, these qualities are non-negotiable. Obviously, there are many more factors that go into a friendship. But these seem to be the things that separate the good friends from the great friends.
The Qualities That Make My Best Friend A Great Friend
She’s A Good Listner
An obvious one, but for good reasons. She doesn’t just pretend to listen; she is engaged. She asks questions because she genuinely cares about me. She listens when I’ve exhausted a subject to the point of no return. She pays attention and remembers the little things. She doesn’t just pretend to listen for the sake of looking like a good friend.
She Knows How To Read The Room
She’s keenly aware when it’s a good time to deliver a harsh truth, give advice, or just listen and agree with how out of line my Mom was last weekend. She knows when it’s better to offer a glass of wine and Cardi B or when it’s time to get down to business and talk about the hard stuff.
You know those friends that always have the right thing to say — that’s her. Or maybe you’re more familiar with the friends who come on too strong. You feel like you’re always on a different page — that’s not her, and I’m grateful.
She Gets My Humor
She’s a great friend because we have a similar sense of humor. One of the best things about friendship is being able to laugh. And oh boy, do I laugh with my friends. It’s tough to have a close friendship if the two of you don’t align with your style of humor. Not that either one is better or worse than the other, but it creates a sort of disconnect. Like I mentioned earlier — you feel like you’re on two different pages. Which is never good — in relationships or friendships.
Most of our time together is spent laughing our a**s off, and that’s one of the best parts of having her around.
She Can Give And Take
A lot of people know how to give, but not everyone knows how to receive. She’s a good friend because she knows how to do both. This makes balance in the relationship feel so much more even. It feels good to get things from your friends in the form of gifts, time, and kind words — but sometimes it feels even better to give to your friends. A great friend knows how to receive gifts and show appreciation for them.
Let’s be honest, there is nothing worse than offering to do something for your friend, and they tell you they can’t accept — the whole situation becomes awkward.
She’s Brutally Honest
She doesn’t always tell me what I want to hear. She tells me what I need to hear. I can trust her to tell me when I’m wrong or give me her honest opinion. I know I won’t always like it — but sometimes that’s what I need. This commitment to honesty has made our friendship so much more valuable and worthwhile. We push each other to grow instead of sugarcoating things.
When you tell your friend a white lie to avoid hurting her feelings, consider if that white lie is helping or hindering her growth. At the very least, it’s not building trust in your friendship. Everyone needs a friend they can count on, to tell the truth even when it’s uncomfortable.
She Knows Who She Is
Lastly, she isn’t afraid to be her authentic self. Or if she is, she does it anyway. The better she knows herself and shows up as who she is, and the more I do the same, the better our friendship is. Our friendship is not built on a fake idea of each other.
The more you show up as your authentic self, the more you empower your friends to do the same. My most empowering friends are the ones who know who they are and own it. Being around her energy inspires me to be more myself every day, and I hope that I do the same for her.
What qualities do your great friends have that make them best friend material?
—
This post was previously published on Medium.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
 |
 |
 |
 |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: iStock
