6 Important Lessons People Learn Too Late in Life

Most people squander their youth. They don’t know what they want from life, and at peak physical and mental health, they waste time drinking, chasing dates, and spending tons of (borrowed) cash.

Then, in the blink of an eye, they hit 40 and wish they had laid the foundations for success decades earlier. People romanticize and crave their youth for a chance to do things differently.

Let’s explore the things people learn too late in life.

1. Push yourself too hard, and it’ll come back to bite you.

In my twenties, my obsessions were Karate and working out. I used to do jumping push-ups on my knuckles on concrete. My instructor showed me the size of his knuckles and stressed how he now wrote like a child, but he punched like an ox, and that’s who I wanted to be.

From my obsession, I now have painful hands, worn knees, and a bad back that hurts if I stand longer than a few minutes. I didn’t care about getting older. I just wanted to be tough.

Well, now “older” is here.

Most people realize too late that caring for their physical and emotional needs is crucial for health and happiness. Activities such as exercise (in moderation), adequate rest, and gratitude can prevent burnout.

2. A BMW taught me the real value of money.

I wish I’d known the precious link between time and money when I frivolously bought a BMW at the peak of my Depression.

I don’t like cars or driving, yet I thought this car would make me look like a big man. I hoped to fill the void inside. As I took it for a test drive, I watched the other drivers as they passed by to see if they were looking at me and my new car.

No one looked, so I returned home dejected. As I pulled into the driveway, I heard a horrifying scraping sound and a rush of air. I’d crashed the car into the fence, torn angry grooves along the side, and popped a tire for good measure.

I gave the car to my mum to round off the horrendous escapade.

I later discovered money can buy you one thing that stands head and shoulders above everything else.

Freedom.

When you have money, you can live life on your terms. You can do whatever work you want, where you want, and have time for doing what matters. You can donate to charity, erect trees and make a difference in the world.

Without money, you can’t do a damn thing. You’ll never fall for shiny object syndrome again as soon as you make this connection between money and freedom.

3. Mental health problems can strike anyone.

Before 2003, I never expected mental illness to impact my life. I had worked as a suicide hotline volunteer, but this just cemented for me that mental health problems happen to “other people.”

Then in 2003, just a few months into my active duty as a police officer, an event happened that gave me PTSD and blew up my entire life before my eyes.

I carried on working for years and kept pushing the pain down. As trauma built on top of trauma, it became too much for me, and I was medically retired and written off as 100% disabled for the rest of my life.

If I could tell my younger self just one thing, it would be that mental health is just as important as physical health, and neglecting it can be fatal.

Monitor your mental health, ask for help when needed, and look after yourself. If it happened to me, it could happen to anyone.

4. The best education is free.

I hate schools. You have to work hard just to play the game and not cause problems for yourself down the line, but they are awful, oppressive places that squeeze the life out of learning.

Some people leave school with such hatred and phobia around learning that they never read or study anything again.

Luckily, I rediscovered a love for learning after I graduated from University by doing the bare minimum and focusing on Karate. I’ve learned how to write better; I’ve studied Japanese and Chess. I read daily. Personal growth should occur every day of your life.

Real education opens doors to new opportunities and enhances knowledge. Do you know the best place for education? Youtube. And it’s free.

5. The world doesn’t need another clone.

I loved classical music and started playing the piano when I was 10. My bullies at school seized on this as a new avenue to mock and belittle me. I hid my passion for Beethoven and forced myself to listen to gangster rap.

It didn’t work, nor did befriending people I hated in the hope they’d leave me alone.

I moved from that fake character to another one who was tough and aggressive. I became known for my Karate skills and my devotion to the gym. But that wasn’t me either.

Many people spend years conforming to societal norms or pleasing others, only to fail and lose respect from everyone, including themselves. The path to genuine happiness is to be authentically you. The world doesn’t need another clone.

6. Have the guts to stay in the game.

Overcoming my grief at losing my job as a police officer, thus my identity took me to the brink and caused a struggle that lasted years. I came close to killing myself numerous times but always held on. Every day I stayed alive, I had a chance to bounce back.

I improved with the proper medication and support from my family until that day came — my Depression had lifted. I now needed to decide what to do with my life and discovered a love for writing.

Mental resilience caused me to stay in the game long enough to win. It caused me to try new things until something stuck. Now mental strength keeps me writing even when the going gets tough.

Despite rejection and being ignored, I kept going. Now my persistence is starting to pay off. Someone once told me the key is to become so big they can’t ignore you.

Watch this space.

Final thoughts.

If this article reaches someone young, keep having fun, but follow these steps and build solid foundations for the rest of your life. If you’re older, remember it’s never too late to change, and while it may be more challenging as the years go by, you can reinvent yourself any time you choose.

Don’t reach the stage where you’re playing catch-up. Finish every day 1% better than you were before.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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