Initially Published by me on newsbreak
How can you move on from a heart-wrenching relationship?
Sometimes your life is the movie, and the worst part about it is that you’re starring in it. I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks, some more devastating than others. This has led many people to ask me how I get over these relationships. One thing for sure is that there are no easy ways to do so, but there are some lessons I learned from them all — lessons that helped me become a better person.
1. You’re Not the Only One Who Is Broken:
It’s easy to assume that the breakup is about you. It’s about you because it hurts you, and everything that brings you pain is always about you. This is why we get so angry and lash out.
After all, we shouldn’t be the only ones hurting. The person who broke your heart should be hurt too. We go through breaking up with the idea that their heart is hurting as much as ours. They should want to suffer as much as we do, right? Wrong! This isn’t how things work out in real life. In real life, breakups happen because both parties are broken.
2. It’s Not All About You- You Have Better Things To Do Than Regret:
While I’m not a fan of blaming ourselves for the relationship ending, it does make sense to put some of the blame on yourself. There are some things you do wrong, which is often enough to turn a relationship sour. I find that what hurts the most is not getting your heartbroken, but the fact that everyone else seemingly gets to enjoy the breakup without having been affected by it at all.
When you’re going through a breakup, everything your ex did makes sense and seems justifiable. You feel like they made you suffer and make you feel inadequate and that everything was their fault. In reality, they weren’t. They made their own decisions and their own mistakes, and you can only control your reactions to them.
Instead of thinking everything was your fault, stop and think about how you can reach out and make up for any changes you made in their personality which may have led to the breakup.
3. Your Heart Will Not Be Broken Forever:
You will get over it. You just won’t be broken forever. It’s hard to believe in the beginning when you’re still amid your agony, and there’s no end in sight. It seems like a lifetime with your heartbroken. But if you hold on for a little longer, that life becomes a month, and then days, and before you know it, you’re completely healed and ready to move on.
4. It Will Get Better, but You’re Still Alone:
This is one thing I learned from all my relationships, and it’s a hard lesson to learn. It’s the sad truth that there are very few people who can love you unconditionally forever. We all have our faults and ugly sides, and those faults and sides will clash with another person sooner or later because no two people are perfect for each other.
5. When You’ve Lost Everything, You’ve Lost Nothing at All:
This is the most important lesson I learned from my past relationships. When you break up with someone, you feel like everything has been taken away from you. You feel like your life no longer has a purpose and that everything is gone forever. The truth is: it’s not. Nothing was ever truly yours in the first place. The same goes for them — they never had anything that was truly theirs either.
6. You Have To Learn To Live With Yourself:
This is the last truth I learned from my past relationships. You can have all the friends and family you want, but they won’t always be there to comfort you. They can encourage you, but you have to do it by yourself in the end. You have to learn to live with your decisions, good and bad, and accept them as a part of who you are. Learning to live with yourself is the hardest thing of all.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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Photo credit: Unsplash
