7 Helpful Tips to Improve Communication With Your Partner

Communicating effectively with your partner is an essential part of any healthy relationship — truly a relationship hack.

Everyone will tell you that you need to communicate your feelings better, be open with your partner, or be honest, but few will tell you how.

Yes, it is true relationships, like anything else in life, go from bad to good, and vice versa.

The key is keeping healthy communication. It will help you and your partner get through the bad, and get back to the good.

Without further delay, here are 7 tips to improve communication with your partner.

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1. Tell them communication is important

This seems obvious, and it is. However, few people tell their partner from the beginning that they like having open, non-judgmental communication.

Do it. Sit your partner down and let them know.

Communication is important to you and you believe it will help keep you two close, get through the hard times, and make a better foundation for your relationship.

Let them know you are open to them and that you expect the same in return.

Make them feel comfortable. Let them know they can come to you with anything — you will listen to their problems, do your best to understand, and be there for them.

Again, this seems obvious, but it had to be said.

2. Set aside time to talk

Comparing a relationship to a business may not be the best idea, but I’m going to do it anyway.

If businesses have set meeting days to go over the numbers, the problems, and the solutions, then why shouldn’t a relationship?

Pick a time each week, or each month (depending on your schedules) when you can sit with each other and go over your relationship. Go over a few important things together.

Here are some ideas of what to go over:

Is anything bothering you lately
What did they do recently that you liked?
Are there any important events coming up?
How’s your sex life?
Review your personal goals and see how they can help you
Set goals for your relationship and make plans

At the end of each talk make sure to let them know that you appreciate the openness and always make sure to acknowledge what they have been doing right!

This is not meant for you to criticize everything they do or nothing will get accomplished. Make sure they feel valued.

3. Know ahead of time what you want to talk about

We’ve all been there. You start talking with your partner and you just go in circles, over and over again. Then you both look at each other and realize you forgot what you want to talk about.

I propose that before you even talk to your partner, you reflect deeply about what you want to talk about and write about it.

Journaling is a very healthy way to reflect.

When you have something you want to talk about, write it down and reflect on it.

Reflecting doesn’t mean assuming. This brings me to my next point.

4. Don’t assume or jump to conclusions

You may think you know your partner well, and chances are you do. However, you don’t want to assume you know what they’re going to say, what they’re thinking, or jump to any conclusions.

Let them say it.

When someone speaks out loud, it helps reassure them of what they are saying. It makes it real.

Let them speak, let them communicate. This is a conversation, not a monologue.

When you assume, it makes your partner feel you don’t want to hear what they have to say.

Their voice is just as important as yours.

Don’t let them think otherwise.

5. Be aware of your communication style

This can be hard for a lot of people but it happens often.

Some people talk more aggressively than others, some words trigger people that wouldn’t trigger you, and some people get offended or close off more easily.

When you are talking with your partner it’s important to pay attention to your tone and words and to be kind.

Remember, this is someone you care about. When you are talking make sure you are also watching them.

Most of all, if you know something is difficult for them to talk about or difficult for them to hear, be kind.

6. Listen to understand

This is extremely important. You need to listen to understand, not to respond.

Let your partner finish saying what they are saying and before you respond, take a couple of seconds to think about it.

You will see some of the best communicators take moments before responding. The best interviewers are those who let them have that moment because that gets the speaker to respond better.

Take your moment and respond better.

If you need time to understand and you don’t know how to respond, don’t force it.

Let your partner know they make a good point and you need a bit of time to reflect on that. That you want to give them a proper response. That time could be a few minutes, or even a night to sleep on it.

What’s important is that you answer truthfully.