7 Lessons From Turning 38 Years Old

It is that time of the year, when I feel a little bit wiser and I ponder upon knowledge acquired from the year gone by and beyond. As many can vouch for it, you don’t feel any different except for a few muscles that you did not even know existed start hurting.

I still feel like a child sometimes and requires conscious effort to reign myself back into adulthood. I am grateful to live in a city where people are open-minded and mostly have a live-and-let-live culture. Without further ado, let’s dive in.

1. Sprint and Marathon

Life is both a sprint and a marathon. The key is to find the timing for both. We can’t necessarily plan for it and say: Today, I am going to sprint in life. However, we can identify periods where we can accelerate and periods where we can play the waiting game.

I wish I realised this sooner as it would have saved me a lot of frustration. I used to want to sprint all the time and that hindered my progress as I did not allow the required time period for it to marinate.

2. Not all wisdom is wise

Have you ever heard the phrase: “Travel and your money will return”? Well, that does not apply anymore. It used to be when travel was cheaper. Post-Coved and the rising cost of living, money is valuable. It might not return.

I have been lucky enough to travel to 41 countries previously, but everything was much cheaper. Unless you want to be a backpacker, frugal and give up on most comforts, travel has become unaffordable. Sure, go out and make memories, but building experiences have changed. Maybe we need new mindsets but above all, modern wisdom. The old ones are turning obsolete or at least should be taken with a pinch of salt.

3. Most of us have privilege

We, humans are always peeking through our neighbours’ windows and wishing for more. There is a certain category of people that have been truly unlucky in life, e.g. children in war-torn countries. I can’t argue about their privilege.

But the rest of us have some kind of privilege in one way or the other. It is just that we think privilege means having been born with a silver spoon, having rich parents or having good genes. We fail to see that we also have a/many competitive advantages.

Perhaps, one of my privileges is that I can manage to express what I want to say in as many words. If I look at my friend who was born with musical acumen, then that advantage is gone. But we are so used to comparing apple with pears that we forgot our own natural privileges. Find them and use them more.

4. Insecurity drives us

But to what extent? In my decade-long career in finance, where everything is due yesterday, my main take-away is that the motor engine of this whole industry is insecurity. People’s insecurities are pitted against each other, all in the name of excellence and climbing the ladder.

Our deeply held insecurities can be motivating and propel us forward. If you are insecure about your body, you will either find a way to hide or to fight against it.

If we find out what gets us out of bed every day, we can either use it for us or against us (chances are that it is already happening). The sad thing is that most people have not dug deep enough to know their own insecurities. Don’t let that be you.

5. Everything is up for negotiation

Whether it is successful or not is another question. Since I moved to Canada, I have negotiated everything three times over, including my rent, job salary, phone bills and even restaurant menus.

We think everything is set in stone when it is in fact, grey. All these protocols were written by people and more often than not, it is worth asking for what you want. At the very least, you will find that things are not as clear-cut as they claim to be, and you have room for manoeuvre.

6. Perception is the window

For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so — Shakespeare, Hamlet

How we see the world is different from what the person next to us sees. Even if it is someone we are extremely close to, be it a parent, a spouse or a friend. We all come with different backgrounds, belief systems, experiences and just genetic predispositions.

Our perception of the world defines how we operate in the world.

7. When you are tired — learn to lean

I have heard the saying when you are tired learn to rest so many times it is not even funny. I wish I heard it sooner so that it drilled down in my brain. When I was tired, I quit thinking I was not good enough.

Should I have rested and waited to recuperate before giving up? Yes, rather I should have learned how to lean; how to ask for support.

Alongside rest, when things get tough, we have to learn how to seek help. We have to be able to express how we feel and pinpoint where it hurts the most. Chances are that where you feel the weakest is another’s strongest suit.

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There is hope.

After all, that is what keeps us alive, metaphysically speaking. But as long as there is tomorrow, it is true. There is indeed hope.

Whether you are twenty, thirty-five, thirty-eight like me or fifty, there exists that possibility…..

that your best day is yet to come

that the love of your life is yet to come

that your best gifts is yet to come

that your best blessings are somewhere still to happen.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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