The physical and emotional attraction between two people is what differs a couple from friends or simply acquaintances.

Add physical attraction into this equation and you’ll get what is referred to as friends with benefits, one-night stands, hook-ups and short term relationships. Mix emotional attraction into the same and you’ll get what we call a healthy, monogamous long term relationship.

Unlike physical attraction which is a direct interpretation of how physically appealing your partner finds you, emotional attraction has a direct impact on how connected your partner is towards your qualitative attributes.

You may not be immediately drawn towards someone’s physical attributes but over time as the emotional connection and attachment develops, the other person may start to appear more sexually appealing to your eyes.

To put it in simple words, if a person finds someone physically attractive it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ll have a long-lasting connection with them. While it’s a slightly different story with emotional attraction.

To say the least, emotional attachment creates a strong connection between two people and therefore is more important for a long term, healthy relationship than the outer attraction alone.

Sometimes it becomes relatively easy to understand if there’s a deep emotional connection between two people. I mean to be honest for the majority of people it’s pretty easy to tell if there’s a mutual understanding between them and their partner or not but sometimes we all need a little help to clear out the air and see things more clearly.

To help you subdue this confusion, below are 7 signs which if present in your relationship points towards a healthy emotional connection.

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1. They genuinely listen to you and are interested in your daily conversations.

There are many people around us who listen to us just for the sake of keeping a conversation up. They don’t contradict us, when we’re going in the wrong direction, they don’t show much interest nor pay attention to what we actually mean to convey.

All they do is nod or agree. Why? They have nothing to care about in our lives.

On the other hand, a person who listens to everything we say, asks follow up questions, shows emotional interest in our conversation, and contradict when needed, is the person who cares about you, your life, your daily doings and if this person happens to be your partner, they’re more like to be emotionally connected to you.

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2. They are comfortable being vulnerable around you.

It is usually hard for most of the people to let their guard down around others, whereas for a few of them it’s downright the most difficult thing to do.

No matter if your partner lies in the first category of humans or the second one, if they’re comfortable enough to let go of these walls around you, then there’s no other way to say they’re emotionally attached to you.

Does your partner freely talk about his/her emotions? Talk about their likes, dislikes, tell you if something has hurt them, talk about their problems or traumas? Has it become a little easier for them to discuss their feelings around you?

Have they started to express their feelings more than before? Do they take responsibility for their actions instead of playing the blame game? Have they become more flexible in appreciating your presence around them?

These are some of the questions you should ask yourself if you doubt whether your partner is vulnerable around you or not.

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3. You can not only have deep conversations but can also sit in peaceful silence.

Yes, having deep conversations is an important sign in determining whether a couple has developed an emotional connection or not, I mean we can not have deep conversations with every person who walks past us.

But if you’re able to sit in silence just as easily as you’re able to have deep conversations without feeling awkward, then you’ve just hit a golden stage of emotional intimacy.

Deep conversation (especially if directly or indirectly related to you, your partner or you both as a couple) also conveys that you both have established a vulnerability around each other, which is something every couple should strive for in the walk towards a healthy relationship.

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4. You feel seen and understood.

It’s important for a person to be seen by his/her partner. Being seen by your partner goes hand in hand with how much physical and emotional attraction is there in a couple.

As I keep repeating, a good understanding is one of the pillars of a healthy, long term relationship.

Therefore if you feel like you have reached a level of mutual understanding with your partner then it’s likely that you two have set up an emotional connection as well.

If you are yet to reach that level of understanding, then there’s no need to panic. If it’s not forming on its own, there are steps that you can take to facilitate this connection, which includes but are not limited to :

• Listen to your partner and pay attention to them.
• Try to understand what your partner actually is trying to convey. It’s not always about the words that are being said.
• Create a no judgement zone with your partner.
• Be clear with your wants and needs, instead of molding your words or being confusing.
• Practice empathy.
• Aspire to understand your partner before wanting to be understood.

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5. You can talk about everything without feeling awkward or judged.

If you feel like you can talk about anything and everything with your partner without having to think, what will they think if I say this? Then, my friend, it’s my pleasure to tell you that you both have reached a level of ultimate understanding, which is also a direct sign of the emotional connection between you two.

If you know that your partner doesn’t judge you for things that others might have mixed options on.

Irrespective of how goopy or serious you get, he/she understands the situation and acts accordingly, then your partner is likely emotionally attracted towards you.

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6. They respect your personal space.

If your partner is physically attracted to you there’s a good chance that he/she will want to be close to you.

They might want to know what you are doing, talk to you and be around you all the time (at least in the beginning). This behaviour might lead them to come off as a little clingy and at the same time might be annoying for you if it continues for a long time.

On the other hand, a person who’s emotionally attracted to you will know when to give you the necessary personal space that everybody at some point needs in a relationship. They will likely keep your needs before their wants and desires.

If your partner, apart from being there for you, gives you enough personal space to breathe and continue with your life (especially the one that has nothing to do with them) then there’s a good chance that the emotional connection they have with you is pretty strong.

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7. You are not taken for granted.

No one wants to be taken for granted by their partner but the chance of it still happening is relatively higher in a relationship that has been formed and still is working on the physical attraction between two people instead of the emotional one.

How to know if your partner is taking you for granted? Well, the below points might help you in doing an introspection of your relationship.

• They only contact you or seek your company when they need something.
• They start to cut their conversations short.
• They stop adding pleasantries while talking to you.
• They show very little to no interest in your life or conversations.
• They provide very less in the relationship as compared to what they receive.
• They don’t care about your needs or wants.
• They always show up late.
• They miss/skip important events and make lame excuses.
• They start portraying toxic behaviour.
• They start playing the blame game.

Note: These are only a few examples of what taken for granted seems like.

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Conclusion.

Physical attraction is very important for a relationship, it is usually the element that is responsible for the initial sparks in a relationship and is also what usually pushes two people into the path of a relationship in the first place.

If you look at the majority of the relationships, they can be divided into three different levels. The first level compromise of physical attraction that includes sparks, sexual appeal, visuals and the allure.

The second level includes compatibility and the third but the most important level includes emotional attraction, connection and understanding, which is responsible for keeping a relationship going even after the honeymoon period is over.

In today’s time, most relationships tend to have short lives due to not being able to cross that bridge of physical attraction and reach the third stage of emotional intimacy.

Emotional connection is necessary for a healthy and long term relationship. Therefore, if you’re in a relationship then you should definitely aspire to reach this level.

Thank you for sticking with me till the very end.

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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.

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