Dating would be way easier if you knew someone was “the one” straight away, but unfortunately, it’s not that way. Instead, there are signs to latch on to.
While being in a mental clinic for the past five weeks, I have managed to fall in love with a fellow patient. During this whacky path of love and recovery, I have come to notice seven early signs they’re “the one” for you.
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7 Early Signs They’re The One For You
I don’t believe there is just one person out there for you — I mean, how many are there of us in the world?! But I do believe in soul mates and finding the one for the right time. Now is my time, and it can be yours too if you follow these serendipitous steps to finding the right one for you because:
“Life is a flow of love.” Harbhajan Singh Yogi
1. You aren’t afraid to be yourself
“Never dull your shine for somebody else.” — Tyra Banks
When I first met this guy, I could tell he was shy. He wouldn’t really look me in the eyes and hover his head quite low. But I knew I could pick him up by being myself.
When telling my friend about the guy, she immediately responded that I have an aura many people latch on to. I guess that is why I love being myself — I am crazy and fun, so I know people will like me. (And if not, that’s also OK!)
The more I got to know him, the easier I found it was to be myself around him. For example, I loved that he didn’t judge my unladylike manners at times. (There’s a joke actually because my last name is Grossmann, so many of my friends used to say ew that’s gross man, when I did something gross. Funny, right?) So at times, I like to burp and fart — I mean, it’s only human, right?!
However, for women, it may seem shameful. I don’t think so, and I do it in the open to show that it doesn’t bother me. He laughed. In fact, he actually spurred me on to do it more, and I love that about him. He doesn’t make me feel bad for being me but encourages it.
Do you have a funny or embarrassing tick that the one could accept you for?
“Don’t worry what people say or what people think. Be yourself.” — Brett Hull
2. You open up about everything
“Love is supposed to be based on trust, and trust on love, it’s something rare and beautiful when people can confide in each other without fearing what the other person will think.”― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly,
As I’ve said before in one of my articles about finding love in a mental clinic, one of the best things about being here (and only things) is that you are who you are and open up to people around you in a vulnerable manner. You are all here for a reason, so there is more openness about your why, where, when.
So when starting to know and date this guy, we would open up to one another in ways I haven’t done before. On one of our first walks in the woods, I opened up to him about the first time I tried to commit suicide.
I haven’t told anyone about this before, but somehow it just came to me to tell him at that moment. He was supportive and touched that I felt ok to tell him, and I felt so safe at that moment that I had an inkling he might be the one…
Is there anything you want to open up about? “The one” should be willing to take it on and make you feel comforted and safe.
3. You feel comfortable
“When you lose your ego, you win. It really is that simple.”― Shannon L. Alder
Research shows that it shouldn’t feel like you’re forcing things to work but that you are both on the same page with effortlessness. You see, when you feel comfortable, everything else flows, and you forget about everything else too.
It’s like all that matters is the moment and the person you are with — you are sucked into a different dimension of a higher vibration.
I feel this way when I am with the guy I have met. Nothing else matters. Some days (if not every day!), we will escape into the forest for a few hours to forget about everything and bask in each other’s company. When we are on the route back to the clinic campus, I realise where we are and get sad for a moment as I, at times completely forget where and what we are here for because I am so comfortable to be around him.
Do you feel comfortable enough to be yourself? Maybe they’re the one.
4. You laugh uncontrollably
“I think one of my favourite things to do is laugh with someone and realise halfway through how much you enjoy them and their existence.” — Anonymous
I love this quote, and I totally agree. Have you ever been in such a laughing fit that you end up forgetting where you are as you are sucked in by the other person’s presence and joke? Yes, me too.
It happens quite regularly with the guy I have met here. At times, he makes me laugh when being his weird and unique self that I can’t stop laughing and forget everything else that is happening in my life.
Laughing is medicine. Furthermore, it is the perfect medicine when being with the one because you forget everything else exists, and you become a part of your bubble that nobody else can pop because laughter is love.
Do you laugh a lot with the one to be? Do you forget everything else is to be?
5. There is a connection that you’ve not felt before
“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”― Brené Brown
When you’re with “the one”, you feel a connection that you might not have felt before. This connection can come from the above points of feeling comfortable, laughing, letting go and being your true self. All these points show that you have a real-life connection that cannot be faulted.
I feel this connection with the guy I am with here. At times, I feel like we have known each other for five years, not only a mere five weeks. It honestly feels like I have known him forever because of the strong connection we have.
It is a strong connection due to the openness we have about our emotions and things crumbling in our lives — aka the reasons we are both here, to begin with. We open up to one another on a higher level that allows a connection to curate between each other.
Do you feel a connection with the one? You will feel it in your soul.
6. You allow the relationship to flow naturally
“Those who flow as life flows know they need no other force.” Lao Tzu
To flow means to let go and look within. When you are with the one, you let go of all the could be or should be and let it be. You see, many negative things could happen to our relationship when we both come out of the clinic.
He will be living four hours away from me, for example, so long distance is something that we will have to face, but we don’t let that get in the way of our time together here. If we did, then we would be living in the future and letting it sadden our hearts before it should be.
Instead, we learn to live in the present and let the relationship flow naturally.
“This inherent feeling of shared trust alleviates the need to social media stalk or constantly check up on the other person,” psychic Lisa Barretta, tells Bustle.
As psychic Lisa says, when you let a relationship flow naturally, there is no need for jealousy or greed because you accept it for what it is. You don’t need to constantly check up on the other person because there is trust and space needed in every relationship.
Are you letting your relationship flow naturally with the one?
7. You aren’t afraid of what is to come
“Go with the flow. Force nothing. Let it happen — trusting that whichever way it goes. It’s for the best.” Mandy Hale
Again, going with the flow is something everyone should do when starting a relationship with “the one”. It is the best thing you can do. You learn to live in the present moment and forget about the past or future.
Okay, so of course you will want to think of the future together because that is only normal when you fall in love and get excited about being together, but what if the future is far off and has distance in between like mine? Then live in the present.
You see, my guy is a bag full of fears. At times, he doesn’t comprehend why I have chosen him to be “the one” and doubts it completely. This is something he needs to work on, but I am here for him too. I tell him there is no need to be afraid because all we have is now and what we have is so special that it will get us through (cheesy, I know, but true!).
In conclusion
7 early signs they’re the one for you include:
- Not being afraid of what is to come, but living in the present.
- Allowing the relationship to flow naturally.
- Feeling a connection, you haven’t felt before.
- Laughing uncontrollably together.
- Feeling of comfort and safety.
- Space to open up about everything.
- Not being afraid to be yourself in all your weirdness.
I hope this list helps you find “the one” or realising “the one” is right in front of your face! If you are interested in my love story in the mental clinic, you may like these posts:
3 Things I Learned About Love in a Mental Clinic
7 Ways to Fall in Love with Someone
How I Fell in Love in a Mental Clinic
Before you go
Thanks for being here.
I help people go from a human doing to a human being. Receive my free, uplifting weekly newsletter every Thursday to brighten your day with my best blog posts to help you live a fulfilled life, plus free meditation and yoga classes, exclusive coaching course and book offers!
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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Photo credit: Mayur Gala on Unsplash
