Falling in love can be the most euphoric feeling in the world. You feel like you could move heaven and earth split to see down the middle to be with them.
What if this person you feel so strongly for doesn’t actually feel the same way?
Want to find out who really loves you and who’s just pretending? Here are 8 cognitive signs to tell the difference:
1. They Change You Not For The Better
Ever since you started dating your partner, you’ve changed.
The only comment you hear from your close ones that seem less lively and upbeat now is that you’ve lost your usual confidence. Or your partner makes you feel like you have to change or hide certain aspects of yourself just to please the, you never feel like you can really be yourself around them.
That’s a definite red flag, remember, true love doesn’t take away from your shine or your spirit.
2. They control you
Does your partner tell you who you can and can’t go out with?
They dictate what you can and can’t wear? Or what time do you need to be home? Are they the ones who always get to choose where you go or where you eat, or what you do together?
In a healthy relationship, you and your partner don’t control one another. True love lets you be your own person while in fake love they dosn’t.
3. They Don’t Trust You
Is your partner distrustful, weary, and overly suspicious?
Do they fail to respect your privacy and read all your text messages just to get some peace of mind? Another sign of fake love is constant and unreasonable jealousy.
Your partner doesn’t have faith in you and they don’t believe you’ll stay loyal to them. They don’t feel comfortable letting you hang out with your friends when they’re not around.
They don’t want you to spend too much time away from them and they need to know where you are and what you’re doing at all times.
4. They Don’t Prioritize You
Do you and your significant other barely see each other anymore? Do they take forever to reply to your texts and frequently cancel on you in the last minute because something came up no matter how understanding you might try to be with them?
You need to realize that all these behaviors show that your partner doesn’t see you as a priority in their life.
No matter how busy they say they are, if they really love you and want to be with you, they’ll do their best to make time for you. Instead of just giving you empty excuses and half-hearted promises.
5. They’re Emotionally Distant
Is your partner distant or detached? Does it seem like they aren’t even trying to build emotional intimacy?
If you and your partner can’t connect with one another on an emotional level, then it’s a sign that they don’t really love you, or your partner doesn’t open up to you or share their feelings with you. They don’t comfort you when you’re down or share your happiness and your success.
There’s nothing deeper meaningful about your relationship. Looks like there’s a stone wall that you’re never going to be able to go through not unless they let down their guard with you.
6. They Seem Uninterested
Aside from being emotionally distant. Your partner just doesn’t seem interested in your life.
They don’t ask you about your interests, passions, or goals. They’re not curious about your thoughts and feelings and they don’t make any effort to get to know you better. They seem bored whenever you talk about your friends or family and they never make plans together with you.
Fake Love is apathetic and uninvolved while the partner who truly loves you will be curious about you, passionate about you, and care enough to get to know you.
7. They Don’t Meet You Halfway
Do you always adjust your schedule around your partner’s to what they like more often than what you like? Are you constantly doing favors for them or sacrificing your time, energy, or other important things in your life? Just to make them happy.
If your significant other truly loves you, they’ll be willing to make compromises. Instead of letting you do all the emotional labor in the relationship and shoulder all their responsibilities.
This shows they’re selfish, they only care about themselves and they’d easily give up on you.
8. They’re Quick To Quit Everything
Finally, the most glaring sign of fake love you need to look out for is how quickly your partner is ready to call it quits with you.
Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. But if every little disagreement has your partner saying, ‘I can’t do this anymore. Then they don’t really love you, they’re not interested in talking things out, giving second chances, or trying to find a solution together.
Their first instinct is always to just throw in the towel, which just goes to show they don’t really care whether the relationship works or fails.
Relationships don’t need to be perfect to make you happy. But it’s important that you and your partner feel the same way about one another and are both willing to do what it takes to make things work.
Honesty, trust, respect, and most of all, genuine and heartfelt love between the two of you is mandatory in any relationship. Otherwise, you’re just wasting your time. Learning to spot the signs of fake love before it’s too late, can ultimately save you from a lot of heartaches. Does your partner show any of these signs? Or if you’re single right now, how can you point out these red flags to those who are victims of them?
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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