Men and women often experience opposing thoughts before a first date.
If you knew what your date was thinking before she showed up, it’d be easier to help her have a good time.
Luckily, I’ve discussed this topic with many lovers and female friends.
So, let’s explore 8 thoughts that women usually have before a romantic encounter.
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1. You Won’t Believe How Much Thought Goes Into This…
A man will pair his favorite jeans with his favorite first date shirt — and be done with it. Hopefully, he’ll shower and spray some deoderant.
Meanwhile, women will consider whether their outfit is too sexy or not sexy enough. They’ll wonder what impression it gives and whether it’s suitable for the venue.
How do they feel wearing it? What accessories best match it? Are they going to be comfortable enough? The answers to these questions can change on a daily basis.
There’s every chance she’s tried on several outfits and had input from her friends. And this is all before she’s decided what to do with her hair.
So, you better make damn sure you compliment her appearance when she arrives.
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2. What If, What If, What If
Women tend to get nervous about first dates.
“What if he’s boring? What if he’s creepy? What if he’s dangerous?”
Women care about these potential scenarios a lot more than men. If they worry too much, they’ll find a reason to flake on you. It’s not as if they’re short of men wanting to take them out.
So, it’s your job as a man to calm these worries ahead of time.
It helps to spend as much time with her as you can before the first date. Don’t run away as soon as you swap contact details. Keep hanging out with her at the bar or wherever you met her. That way, she can see you’re not boring, creepy or dangerous.
If you matched online, organise a short video call before a date. Better yet, build an Instagram that proves you’re a cool guy who’s fun to hang out with. This’ll help her feel excited to date you, instead of nervous.
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3. Her Exit Strategy
Most women fear the prospect of spending hours on a date with no chemistry. So, many of them will plan an escape route ahead of time.
Earlier this year, UK insurance company Britannia Rescue even set up a ‘Dateside Rescue Hotline’ for nervous women. If they text this hotline, they’ll receive an message to use as an excuse to leave.
A poll conducted by the same company found that adults will tolerate a bad date for 51 minutes on average. One in five respondents said they’d left a bad date early.
Anyway, you can reduce the chances of being flaked on by keeping your first dates casual. A simple coffee date allows either party to leave quickly if they’re not feeling a connection. A drink at the bar works well too. Both of these ideas relieve the pressure that women feel before a first date.
Save the fancy three-course meals for when you’re sure you like each other.
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4. What If Someone Sees Her?
Most women have a mental archive of people they’d rather not bump into on a date. Her ex, her friend-with-benefits, her sugar daddy? You can never know what else is going on in her life…
For this reason, it’s not always great to date in the city’s most popular bars. The more privacy you can arrange, the more intimate a date can become.
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5. The Age-Old Dating Question
Who should pay on a first date in 2023? It seems like no-one can agree. She’ll have her own opinion and she’ll be hoping that you share it.
My advice is to take a woman somewhere you can afford to pay double. That removes a potentially awkward moment when the bill arrives. Ultimately, it’ll be the emotional connection that wins her over, not how much the date costs.
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6. She’s Absolutely Hoping This Happens…
If a woman takes the time to doll herself up for a date, she’s hoping it’ll lead to a kiss at the very least.
That’s not to say she’ll be ready to kiss you from the very start. You’ll need to build that desire within her by showing your attractive qualities and creating an emotional connection.
But she’s hoping you can do that so she feels ready to kiss you before the date ends.
You won’t come across as a gentleman by not trying to kiss her. She’ll either think you’re not attracted to her or too much of a coward to show it. Good luck landing a second date when she feels like that.
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7. Sex On The First Date?
While you might be hoping to get some action on a first date, some women will be convincing themselves not to have sex with you.
This happens when they assume you’ll judge her for giving up the goods too soon.
That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to sleep with you. It also doesn’t mean she won’t change her mind. This can happen when you’re a guy worth breaking the rules for.
Also, some women will arrive hoping to be invited back to your place. Not every woman dates looking for something serious.
Either way, the best move is to invite her home and hope for the best.
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8. Debrief And Cocktails
Most women have at least one best friend who they share everything with. And if this date is a big deal to her, they’ll have already organised a time and place for the debrief.
Let’s hope they’re discussing what a funny, sweet and charismatic stud you are.
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If you’re the type of guy who struggles to attract or keep a woman’s attention, my book Big Dick Energy will help you. It features 12 powerful exercises to help you unleash your confident masculine energy and attract amazing beautiful women. You can learn more by clicking here or watching the video below.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Christopher Campbell on Unsplash
