Have you stopped dating online because it didn’t work? Maybe you’re currently dating online, but you’re sick and tired of illiterate profiles and messages. What about the people who don’t even read your profile and just comment on your photos? Then there are those who open with, “Hi, sexy. Call me.” And what about the Cut-and-Paste-dater, the one who sends the same email to 100 people, hoping a few will respond? Not so sexy.
Yep, a lot of creeps and people who never grew up are dating online. Some are sweet but clueless. As annoying as those people can be, they don’t represent the entire population. So please don’t quit online dating because of a few rotten tomatoes. For every wrong person, there are man wonderful men and women online. Online dating is still one of the best ways for anyone over 50 to find love.
According to a study from the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, one-third of all marriages in the U.S. begin with online dating. I’m here to help you make online dating less stressful and more successful. I want you to find love online. It has very little to do with luck.
8 Tips For Online Dating Success
1. Discover the type of relationship your ideal match is looking for.
Some people write that they’re looking for an activity partner or a friend. You might be looking for the same thing. If so, that’s great. But if you’re looking for a serious relationship and they’re looking for a hookup, don’t waste your time. Move on to the next profile.
2. Keep your online profile essay light and playful.
In this fast paced high tech world of short attention spans, almost no one will take the time to read a long online profile essay. Keep it short, positive, and interesting. You want to talk about the character traits that are attractive to you. And tell one or two line stories about the qualities that make you unique. You’re adventurous? Talk about your best adventure. Keep it to about 150 words if you want your essay to be read.
3. Nix the negativity.
When you list a string of what you DON’T want in a relationship (no liars, no drama, no commitment-phobes), you come across as an angry person who can’t let go of the past. That’s a huge turnoff. Ever had a first phone conversation with someone, and all they talk about was how much they hated their ex? No thank you. Keep your profile positive. After you’re in a relationship, there will be plenty of time to slowly reveal the complexities of your life. The profile essay is definitely not that place.
4. DO put positive and clear statements about what kind of person you are seeking.
Be specific about the four or five most important traits you’re searching for in a partner. These should be about character and values, not height, weight, or income level. Eventually, a person who fits your requirements will read your essay and say, “Hey, that sounds like me!”
5. Your photos matter a LOT.
Make sure your pictures are current and show you at your best. Your profile photo should be a close-up of you smiling warmly. Include a few full body shots. Post a few photos of you doing something you love. The best pictures tell a story. The photo in my profile that gets the most comments is one of me holding hands with my dad at a wedding. Men say it shows that I’m kind and caring. That’s what relationship-oriented men are looking for.
Don’t include photos of you with your three best friends and make someone have to figure out which one is you. No one has time for that. Don’t post photos of your kids. (If they would be mortified to know that you posted their photo on a dating site, don’t do it!).
This is your first impression. You have a nanosecond to draw a person in. And there’s nothing worse than meeting someone for the first time who looks nothing like their photos. One of the greatest compliments you can get, “You look just like your pictures!” Or even better, “You’re better looking in person.”
6. Choose a username that attracts.
Women often choose a username that’s a turn-off to men. For example, if she is into spirituality and energy healing, that’s great. But she should not include it in her username, with a name like YogaDiva or ReikiMama. Tip: if her girlfriends love it, it probably won’t attract a man. Choose a fun and man-friendly username that describes what a man would love about you, such as: iHeartGolf, NoDramaGirl, or LovesLifeCA.
Men, don’t use words that are overtly sexual or cheesy in your username, like LoverBoy69 or ImUrDreamGuy. Show a woman that you’re a stand-up guy with a screen name like NerdyNinja or JoeInShiningArmor.
7. Choose a tagline that gets attention.
Your tag line is the headline to your profile. Make a powerful first impression. Here’s one way to create a great tagline. Write a list of your passions and interests. Relate those interests to popular movies or other cultural references. For example, you love cooking and yoga. Your references might be: Top Chef, The Food Network, Lululemon and Gandhi.
Now, build your headline by taking two of your interests and linking them together. For example, “Top Chef Meets Gandhi”. Create two or three headlines like this, and rotate them every few weeks. This will continually catch the attention of new prospects.
8. Mystery creates attraction.
The best usernames, headlines, photos, and profiles provoke a prospect to ask a question. You’re giving them a window into your life, not selling them on the whole package. If you’ve piqued their curiosity, they’ll send an email. And that’s how you start the conversation that leads to the first date.
There’s so much more to say about online dating success, but these tips will help you improve your profile, which is step #1 to online dating success.
Any questions? Any tips to add? I want to hear what you think! Please leave a comment below.
Photo credit: Pixabay