Ups and downs are inevitable in relationships. But when it decelerates for a long time, you might convince yourself that it is already too late to go back to normal and it is better to let it go. However, without trying a bit more, you can never know what the future holds for you. If you are still nurturing hopes to make everything even better than before, here are 8 things you can do to fix your broken relationship right away:
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1. Displaying everything that bothers you about relationship
I don’t remember how many times I have mentioned the importance of communication in relationships to people around me yet I still hear some of them holding back their true feelings or who they really are from their partners. They even hesitate to talk about what worries them about the future of their relationship because they don’t know how their partner would react. This, in turn, starts to freeze the relationships and change them into a cold cave with a bunch of icicles hanging from its ceiling.
Be honest, about your partner, about yourself, about the relationship, about the world. Anything. Speak your worries clearly as you speak your joy. Relationships are not for only happiness and positive feelings, it is another way of saying “I want to experience anything humans can ever experience with you”.
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2. Reminding each other how your lives would be without each other in it
This might seem the last thing you would like to do, however, it can be a great motivation boost to fix the relationship right away. Don’t see it as a negative experience to go through, but an essential one to remind your importance to each other.
Sometimes even the idea of losing someone we love can remind us how important they actually are, how we might be ignoring this for some reason. Once you can see it wholly, their presence, no matter how broken you two might be, will mean much more than just someone you are in a relationship with that needs to be fixed.
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3. Forgiving for the past old mistakes that you have already talked about but not forgotten
If there have been some issues in the past and they have affected your relationship, try to bring about the ones that hurt you the most. The harder it is for the two of you, the more healing you need to do about it. Just because you have got the closure, doesn’t mean you got over it.
You need to forgive each other for what you have done if you really want this relationship to go further. This forgiveness should not be only about words, you need to feel it deep inside as well. This forgiveness should lead to a point where you two can easily talk about what you have gone through so far without feeling like your heart is skipping a beat or like a punch in the gut.
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4. Understanding each other’s needs for their own time
I am a firm believer that certain emotions should be processed alone. Having someone else who always supports you around can be so therapeutic, however, on some days it can be the fuel to the fire. Especially when we are living through some stuff that we don’t even want to admit to ourselves yet.
Always being there for each other is a healthy sign and it should not be underestimated by both sides. But when we need our alone time more than anyone’s advice, it becomes something we are obliged to do. By understanding this, you will also show deeper respect to your partner’s individuality.
Communicating on these “alone time” moments beforehand should not pose any problems later. Even if you have not talked about it so far, it is not too late to shed light on this necessary matter. Maybe that’s the only thing you have been needing all along.
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5. Speak in your love language
Show love. Do it genuinely and definitely not as something you think you must do. Don’t be afraid of being vulnerable to your partner, and if you think you should be then what is the point of being in a relationship in the first place?
What is worse is that after all this time, you might be convinced that they already know that you love them so why bother anymore? If you are a believer in this, just remember that our bodies need to breathe constantly, not like breathing for a period of time, and living happily ever after.
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6. Act like friends and utilize your friendship to deepen the bond between you
Whether your romantic relationship stemmed from your friendship or it was love at the first sight, a strong friendship between partners indicates healthy and long-term love. If you are struggling in maintaining this, maybe the missing part of the puzzle is that it is time for you to reinforce your friendship.
Put aside your expectations as a lover, sit down, and talk like best friends do. Remind your partner that no matter what happens, you will be there for her/him like a friend.
If you already have friendship developed in your romantic affair, be sure that they feel this as well. Remember how it was like to be friends with your partner and what you two were doing back then. Maybe bringing those moments back to life will save your relationship as well.
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7. Sail out to new experiences or new interests.
Trying out new stuff can take you two to new horizons you have never been to. It can also help you discover new parts of one another you have never known they had. Check out your bucket lists and be brave enough to offer to do a new activity at least every month. Be it exploring a new city, doing a new kind of sport, going out to a new restaurant, starting a new business, or maybe completely something different.
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8. Accepting the reality of the constant called “change”
You can resist change, but you cannot stop it.
Everything we observe, experience influences us to some extent and denying that is only deceiving yourselves. Denying your partner’s change is deceiving yourself more.
Fear of change is as natural as its consistency. It is another reflection of fearing uncertainty. We cannot make sure if, over time, our partners will love us more or less depending on their own free wills. So, we basically ignore this as if it does not even exist because there is literally nothing we can do to change its course.
Just work on accepting your changes and your partners’ and the fact that it is totally normal and okay and even necessary. Growth is significant for the experience we are having here on Earth as human beings. Respecting this basic fact will save you from a never-ending spiral of rebellion towards change.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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