Everywhere you go, you see them. Happy couples on vacation sharing photos of palm trees and breathtaking sunsets over the water.
You can’t go to a store without seeing them. They walk arm in arm, picking up coffee makers and curtains for their home.
You wonder- why isn’t it me? Why have I never met anyone in my life that I’m compatible with?
How come I have to always be the third wheel when out with friends?
You are now becoming bitter. Maybe love isn’t in the cards for you. Maybe your friends were right when they said you are too picky. Maybe you should hang up your hat and give up on love forever.
Maybe you’re too old for happiness. Whoa, stop right there.
It’s time to stop being your own worst enemy, and your barrier to love. Because it’s not always them. Sometimes it is you.
Before you throw in the towel on love, try some of these things first. It may change your love life for the better.
Because you can get the love you want. All you need to do is remove what’s blocking your happiness. Here are 9 ways to get the love you long for:
Change your beliefs about the opposite sex
I know a beautiful woman without a partner. She is thin, with an hourglass figure, beautiful eyes, and hair. She’s stunning, every man’s dream. Then she opens her mouth.
Every time she talks about men, it’s never in a flattering light. If you listen to her, you’d think all men were scoundrels, only out there to abuse and break women’s hearts.
She truly believes men are cheaters, and dishonest to their women. It spills out in her conversation.
How is she ever going to attract a quality man if she truly believes all these lies about men?
They say what you focus on manifests. Soon she’s meeting men like this. She only sees the bad men. Good men are invisible to her.
For her to find a quality man, she needs to change her negative beliefs about men. She must believe that a quality man exists. There are wonderful men out there who are honest, caring, committed, and reliable.
It’s time for her to focus on all the good in men. Then she’ll attract them to her like bees to honey.
This is the same for men. Believe that women are mostly good and kind and loving. Open your heart to someone. Your love will attract a quality mate to you.
Change your beliefs about yourself
How do you feel about yourself? If you believe you’re unattractive and invisible, it’s going to make it difficult to meet the right partner.
If you don’t like yourself, how do you expect someone else to?
It’s time to make an effort with your appearance. Go out and buy some great clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Treat yourself to a spa treatment or a new hairstyle.
Make a list of all the great things you have to offer a mate. Believe you are the perfect match for someone.
By changing yourself, you will change your life.
Do some work on your issues
If you suffer from low self-esteem, now is a great time to work on all of your issues.
If you don’t work on your issues, you will continue to attract the same type of partners as before. For example, if you don’t address your codependency issues, you will continue to attract narcissists and one-sided relationships.
If you don’t change your belief that you can’t do things yourself, you’ll attract a controlling partner that orders you around and doesn’t act in your best interests.
I used to attract men who were overly enmeshed with their mothers. I had to examine my inner belief and change it, so I wouldn’t attract those types again.
Get out of your routine
If you do the same routine every day, it will be hard to attract a mate. You have to change up your routine and meet new people. You need to go to a place you haven’t been to before.
Sadly love doesn’t usually come knocking at your door. You have to put yourself out there in the world to find it. Yes, it is difficult in a pandemic, but love will find a way.
There are small outdoor events where you can meet new people. Many groups have Zoom calls, where you can talk to people online.
It’s important to put yourself out there if you want to meet someone.
If you haven’t been meeting new people lately, it is a definite sign that you need to change your patterns.
Take advice from happily married people
If you want to meet a lifetime partner, spend some time with happily married or coupled people and learn their secrets to a successful partnership.
Involvement with a romantic partner can be good for your health and well-being. A mutual life-giving relationship can add to your life.
It’s best to avoid lifetime bachelors or commitment phobics who refer to their partner as their ball and chain. You’re most likely not going to meet the love of your life hanging out with people who feel trapped in relationships.
Spend time with joyful couples, and mention that you’re now open to meeting someone new. Maybe they know a friend who’s looking for someone exactly like you.
Stop dwelling on all your failures
Are all of your friends’ unhappy single people, or worse — unhappy married people? Do you spend too much time thinking about how you failed at love and in life?
If you are trapped in a cycle of negativity, it’s time to change that. It’s not healthy to dwell on the negative. Especially when you want to meet someone.
It’s time to accentuate the positive things in your life.
If you take the time to list your achievements, you’ll often be surprised at how accomplished you are.
People are most like the friends they hang around with. Nurture friendships with uplifting people, who are filled with gratitude in life. It will rub off on you.
Expect the best for yourself
My friend made a list of everything she wanted for her mate. She wrote her list on pink stationery, lit a candle, and prayed. It sounds silly, but it worked for her.
She listed all the qualities she wanted in a man. She thought about all she had to offer him.
She hoped for someone good-looking, kind, financially stable, and who shared the same religion.
Then she actively worked on finding her love. She went on matchmaking sites and found him there. He was the man she’d described on her list.
Expect the best in life for yourself and do the groundwork to meet someone. There’s someone out there that is perfect for you.
Let go of any prior loves
Before you start actively dating someone, make sure you completely let go of any of your prior loves. It’s not fair to your new partner if you are carrying a torch for someone else.
Don’t use someone to get fancy dinners out or for an ego boost. And don’t date people that you only see as a friend. You’re only wasting both of your time when you could be meeting the person you’re supposed to be with.
Love can’t bloom when one partner is in love with someone else. Make sure you end the other relationship completely before you get involved with someone else.
Don’t hurry love
Let your new relationship move slowly. Get to know the person well, so you’re certain about them before you take things to the next level.
If you start in a friendship, call it a friendship, until it becomes something else.
Build your love on a strong foundation that will last throughout the storms of life. It never hurts to pray.
Soon you’ll be posting your sunsets together for the world to see.
—
Previously Published on medium
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
 |
 |
 |
 |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Shutterstock
