It has been only 2 months, and I am already an impatient human being.
No, I am not impatient but, my mind is because my mind wants to ponder on thoughts that I do not want to be with.
I am fighting, failing, standing up, and fighting again.
Days after days, my criticism about myself increases. I am wild and frustrated.
Wasn’t practicing mindfulness supposed to calm me down, save me from all the chaos in my head?
Yeah, you wish!!
Mindfulness is the act of controlling ones’ wandering mind. It requires self-awareness and self-control, which arises from self-discipline.
It has been very hard on me as I come from a childhood — adolescence that has been surrounded by devastating incidences. The incidences that almost killed my innocence and crushed my hopes of having a positive lifestyle. Therefore, my mind wanders every time and too much on the negative side.
Until the day when I decided to make the change, SO, here I am sitting with all the books and videos, guiding me through my turmoils and raising hopes to help me cope with the creations my mind plays.
What is the major switch that we see as we sit to implement this concept of mindful living?
Our sub-conscious mind tries to bring us back to a state of trauma that it has seen as normal. Meanwhile, our conscious mind criticizes that it is not right; the place is peace, happiness, and love. That’s where self-criticism kicks in.
Being critical is a normal side-effect of mindfulness at the beginning.
The entire practice involves the ability to let thoughts float away like clouds and hold onto the ones we seek to be positive and happy.
In the beginning, we are bound to fail and face distractions and a lack of focus. But, practice makes it perfect. Over time, we manage to know how to bring back our focus to the present and focus on abundance.
Our tendency for criticism is a common habit. We all criticize whatever does not fit our will and wish in this world. Mindfulness also assists us to acknowledge why and in what context our critical thinking elevates.
As the say goes, “energy flows where focus goes.” It is thus, important to address the self-critical part every time it generates, either on its own or triggered by events. Addressing where the negative thoughts and aggression is generating is often a key step towards addressing our traumas.
Failing to do so often ends us in a state of mind, which is agitated and full of confusion, explaining why many amongst us give up while practicing mindfulness. Because we tend to sway in a push-pull state of mind between varied thought processes. However, considering the process as a detoxicating method, it is obvious to have discomfort while removing toxins from our minds.
They never say how much longer the process takes and how unpleasant the process of mindfulness can be.
The reason being we all have varied degrees of emotional maturity as well as life traumas. One person’s practice might be effortless and take less time to reach the point of contentment. For someone else, the process might be extremely discomforting. It is very relative.
Hence, for all the beginners who might be on the verge of giving up. Please don’t!!!
Once you can overcome the mind’s resistance and pass the discomfort zone, the peace achieved cannot be explained in simple words. Life will be just amazing and peaceful. You will find love and compassion in everything you see and feel.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Conscious Design on Unsplash
