I am writing to you to make someone understand that it’s good to appreciate our partners despite their flaws.
I am 32 years of age.
My ex-husband and I dated for 6 years.
We were best friends.
I waited until he completed college and started work.
My family and his family then met.
We got married and had a son. (7 years old now).
My husband was short-tempered at times, but our problems started when I wanted to make him feel he couldn’t control me.
Every time we argued, I would pack my bags, go to my family and explain.
My sisters would phone my husband and shout at him.
If he were controlling me, I would always dare him that he could divorce me if he wished.
I never wanted a divorce.
I just had pride, and I never wanted to look like a loose woman in his eyes.
One day, I pushed him so hard that he beat me and locked me outside for the first time.
I went to my family, my family took him to the police, every time I looked like I was being abused!
But to be honest, I used to abuse my husband emotionally.
He was arrested and detained.
His family asked me to withdraw the case.
I felt that what I was doing was wrong.
My husband was never a violent man; he did what he did because I pushed him to the wall, of which he openly knelt and apologized.
I withdrew the charge, and we reconciled.
After three months, I packed my bags after a small issue, and he remained alone.
After two days, I received a call that he was in the hospital.
My family told me that I shouldn’t go there because it would look like I was begging him and my sisters believed he was faking the illness.
All this time, people felt sorry for me, like I was the one being abused.
After he came out, he spent a week in the hospital; I just received a divorce summons.
I wanted to say no to divorce, but I wanted him to change his mind and beg me because I felt this pride.
I called him and said he would get the divorce because I lived like I was in hell.
When we went to court, I wanted to make him pay, so I told the court that I needed to share his properties.
To my surprise, he openly told the court that whatever he and I acquired together should be given to me; all he wanted was divorce.
We were divorced in 2009 July.
Now, my husband is married, whilst l am here wasted!
My family members are gossiping about me.
I depend on what my ex-husband gives to my son for survival.
I know I wasted my marriage.
I am telling all wives that they should be careful about getting advice.
Don’t be cheated, don’t entertain family interference in your marriage, my dear reader.
Even my young sisters are much more respected than I am.
Those who encouraged me to get divorced are always teasing and bad-mouthing me.
Please, ladies, be vigilant in your marriage.
I thought it wise to share my story to save your marriage.
There is no benefit in pride for nothing.
“Sometimes it’s not the man’s fault at all, it’s your pride, and the people you allowed to advise you, so be wise and vigilant in your marriage”.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Image from Canva
