Through her eyes
You see something more
You see a life that is so full
You see yourself smiling at the sight of her
And for absolutely no reason at all
Except for the fact that you just can’t help it
It’s scary
You don’t know what’s happening
You feel the butterflies everywhere
You don’t even know if it’s love
You go crazy thinking about her
Day and night, even in your dreams
But honestly,
What is falling in love?
Is it a feeling?
Is it an action?
Is it an incident?
Who knows?
Falling in love takes time
Falling in love is terrifying
Falling in love has risks
Falling in love can even be tiring
You may fall out of love
They may not be “the one”
But know that you have it in your heart to keep falling in love, over and over and over again. And hopefully, with the same person.
. . .
The idea here is not to “be loved”. Getting people to love you is simple. Simply change your looks, personality, and values, and you’ll easily be loved by many.
But, falling in love is another story. Loving another human being for who they are is hard. Many may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. But that is simply not true. Falling in love takes courage, it takes confidence, it takes effort, it takes patience, and on top of that, there are risks.
They might not reciprocate your love and you’ll end up with a heartbreak. Nobody wants yet another heartbreak. As if we don’t have enough of those already. Getting your heart broken sucks.
Speaking truthfully, modern society is anti-love. There is so much of us that is on the Internet nowadays that once we “check out” someone’s social profile, we’ll find at least a few things that we don’t like about them. Then we take this knowledge and form an image of this person without really knowing them. It’s like taking a microscope to everyone just to highlight their flaws and shortcomings.
It is far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance.
. . .
Falling in love with someone and constantly putting in the effort is hard work — a very admirable kind of hard work.
Loving someone has great benefits. There is a lot of learning going on when you love someone. You open yourself up and become vulnerable to the other person. A research even mentioned that being in love can lead to a longer life expectancy. Those that are in a strong and happy marriage tend to live longer than unmarried men and women.
When we love someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth about the worthlessness of material things and how little it matters to our happiness. We celebrate being human. The joy of having emotions, ups or downs. Loving is good for the soul.
Not just putting in the effort to love someone, it is also very important to love the right person. On the contrary to “pop culture”, love doesn’t just happen by chance or at first sight. Love doesn’t just spawn out of nowhere because you see a pretty lady across a crowded dance floor. If that is your case, it is most probably your hormones talking.
In fact, love grows slowly. People grow in love rather than fall in love. Love sinks its roots first before branching and blossoming. Over time, and given enough time, this tiny silly weed will turn into a mighty tree that can weather any storm. When the shit hits the fan (and it will), you have this tree to hold both of you together because it sure as hell isn’t going anywhere.
. . .
You will find, that when you have someone to love, appearances are less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart. As corny as it sounds, inner beauty is evergreen and will forever outshine appearances.
You will also find yourself accepting the fact that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. Maybe it will turn out great. Maybe you’ll end up marrying them, have a few dogs, a few children, and share a home together. But maybe they are not “the one” for you. Maybe they’re not yours to keep. Maybe they’re just here as a lesson. Maybe they’re someone else’s “the one”.
And that is totally fine because you are not doing it to be loved back. It is up to them to decide that. Loving someone is to inspire you. It can teach you all the things you need to know about yourself. And in the end, you’ll be a better person because of them. Because you allowed yourself to fall in love. And that is a beautiful thing.
Ultimately, you will find that there is no half-assing it when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do it with every ounce of your ethos. You surrender every bit of you to them, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology.
Let love flow engulf your soul, and you’ll be reborn, all the better for it.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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