A Semi-Apologetic Letter to the Plant on My Bookshelf That I Let Die Five Years Ago

To my dearly departed and neglected spider plant,

For years, I had watched you on my bookshelf, nestled between my self-help books “How to Be Accountable” and “Stop Procrastinating.” How ironic, since I had procrastinated watering you and I neglected you every day for a year, to the point where you had passed away from rejection. I am so sorry for letting you down.

You are, and forever will be, my greatest failure. Actually, that’s not true. I’ve had lots of failures in my life. But it seemed like something I should say here given the circumstances.

Ever since you left my bookshelf — and this world — five years ago, I’ve left the space empty to remind me of how I let you down. Actually, that’s not true either. I just don’t have anything else to fill the space.

I miss you and I think of you often. Okay, that’s the third lie now. I neglected you and ignored you for years when you were alive. Why would I think of you now?

But seriously, it’s time for me to be honest and vulnerable with you for a moment. You were not the first plant that I murdered due to my carelessness and you likely won’t be the last. I’ve killed plants before due to neglect. I’ve knocked plants off of shelves from once they stood due to sheer clumsiness. And once, I simply looked at the plant and it shriveled in agony before succumbing.

I am a flawed human being and my ability to kill plants instantaneously is one of my many flaws. I am truly sorry that you became one of my victims.

If it’s any consolation, I have switched to fake plants.

With total disregard, nonchalance and apathy,

Samuel

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Previously Published on Medium

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