According to Science, I’m a Horrible Person

If you haven’t been reading my articles, there’s something you have to realize; I’m addicted to myself. The pressure of always moving up and always achieving something faster and faster, is addictive.

Speak of toxic self-love, that’s me. And I’m not kidding. I consider self-care and self-love very crucial for one’s happiness.

Unfortunately, many people interpret “self-love” to mean, “Don’t care that you might hurt other people.”

One of my besties got into a fight with her partner, and my advice was, “Cheat back. Let him feel the pains you feel. That will reset his mind, so he doesn’t misbehave again.”

My friend took my advice. She did not just cheat on her partner; she fell in love with a one-night stander.

Three months later, my friend moved out of the apartment she shared with her boyfriend of seven-year.

It’s been two years since my friend broke up with her ex. She’s happily married to the one-night stander and nursing their four months old baby boy.

I encouraged my best friend to leave a relationship that kept her trapped for seven years, and I have zero regrets about it.

Before you turn to judge Judy, we all have been the “bad friend” at some point in our life.

But does that mean we horrible people?

I had to seek answers with AI to know if I’m a bad human being or not. You can check your right here.

Shockingly some of the facts checked that I am indeed a horrible person. Some of the things I do- the way I treat people, my attitude towards life, and my environment proves so.

Studies have also shown that if you catch any of these signs early on, you can actually become, well, a better person.

For the sake of humanity, and future generations, read on to find out if you have any of the terrifying qualities that could make you a bad person.

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1. You fake friendship

Some people don’t admit their flaws, but I’m happy to spot a fake person from miles away.

Fake friends usually want something from you but give nothing back in return. I should know because I am one of them.

I grade my friends based on their contributions to my life. I have real friends I would do anything for.

Then those I will reciprocate whatever I receive from them, and the last, the just friends I hardly pay attention to.

Being there for someone and offering your emotional support is a big deal, and not everybody deserves your time and attention. So, yes, that makes us bad people.

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2. You hold grudges

I’m unapologetic when I’m right about something. I know some people are quick to apologize to resolve a matter even when they are right.

That’s not me!

I had a fallout with my younger sister just recently over her attitude to her guest. Her husband lodged a complaint to me about her hostility towards his relative.

I know my sister is not hospitable. Still I tried talking to her about it, but she got defensive and rude, then she walked me out of her house.

We haven’t spoken since then. Even when she gave birth to her last baby, who is seven months now, I did not call or visit to congratulate her.

I’m not big on forgiveness. So I still resent my sister for humiliating me the way she did, and she hasn’t apologized either. We are both waiting for the first person to break the quarrel.

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3. You pay people back in their coin

I always go by the principle “treat me how you would like to be treated.”

My friends know better than to provoke me, so they stay clear of doing things they would not be happy with if done to them.

If you’re the type that seeks revenge on someone by treating them in the same negative manner as they treated you, then you are a horrible person.

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4. You’re self-centered

A good and above all wise person thinks not only of herself but also of her environment.

If you’re not considering how your actions affect the people around you, you’re a shitty person.

I guess my open letter to aggressive married women pretty much covered how selfish I am.

Get this, selfish people don’t know they’re being selfish. They just assume they’re nice people who care about their own happiness more than anything else.

Too bad I’m not apologizing for this one. It is what it is!

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5. You’re picky with friends

I never knew by surrounding myself with people of like minds; I was actually bringing shitty personality to my doorstep.

I tend to keep friends who are beneficial. If you have nothing to offer or contribute to my pocket or brain, I will keep you at arm’s length.

Sadly, only horrible people rate friends by standards.

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Like every person on earth, I’m not perfect. I’m a human with flaws. Each of us has some flaws. We sometimes upset our loved ones or make them sad.

We are opinionated at the core. We do and say things that feel right for us. If you always tolerate uncomfortable situations to please people, that will make you miserable in the long run.

Our behavior is a reflection of our environment and life experience.

According to experts, stress and undue pressure inculcate this toxic side in people, who more often than not are unaware of their horrible behaviors.

Certainly, we can control how we treat one another, but no one is 100% guarded.

So the next time someone points out your flaws, don’t argue it. Analyze your behavior or the actions that led to that comment.

If truly you’re guilty of such a label, and if it doesn’t serve you well, apologize and move on. Don’t beat yourself up over someone else’s definition of you.

Always stay true to yourself, and remember to love others as you want them to love you.

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This post was previously published on Medium.

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