Affirming & Venting Are the Same — But With Very Different Results

Affirmations and venting are the same thing, except one is leading you toward where you want to go and the other is leading you away from it. One is helping to retrain your mind to focus on what can be and the other is keeping you right where you are. One is loving you and one is not. Everyday we get to choose what we think. Every moment of every day we are choosing our thoughts. The vast majority of us are doing it unconsciously. So, when it’s suggested that they have control over all of it, they balk.

If we’re not controlling our own thoughts, then who is? It’s not your mother. It’s not your boss. And it’s not your girlfriend. There’s not another person in this world who can think for you or control your thoughts, for that matter. We’re entirely on our own with this. All the good feeling, wonderful, loving thoughts we have, they’re ours. All the shitty, mean, angry thoughts we have, ours too. They’re all ours. We are the thinker of all of our thoughts.

All of these thoughts that we’re thinking, all day, everyday can be shifted or changed to whatever we want them to be. When we think a thought long enough it becomes a belief. That’s all beliefs are. They’re thoughts that got hard wired by our repetitive thinking of them. Can you imagine that the irrational beliefs we have about spiders, people who are different colors and money, to name a few are just all a result of our repetitive thoughts about these subjects? Crazy I know!

The very best thing about all of this is that if I’m right and I am, it means that we can change our thoughts and therefore change our lives. If we have practiced a thought long enough and it becomes a belief, we can practice a different thought and change our belief. It’s crazy simple. What makes it so hard and seemingly impossible for so many of us, is that we give up too quickly. Remember, you didn’t get where you are overnight.

The other part of this equation is how we feel about what we think. Is there emotion attached to your thought? Does it feel good? Awesome! Follow that thought. Does it feel bad? Then let that shit go, like now! If you’ve been thinking a not good feeling thought for a long time and it’s become a belief, it often takes time and practice to change or shift it to a new better feeling thought but it’s doable. It honestly doesn’t matter what it is. Self doubt? Fear? Shame? None of those feel good and none of them came from something worth carrying around with you for the rest of your life. It really doesn’t matter at all what the story is behind it. In fact it’s the story behind these feelings that you keep telling yourself that’s holding you back.

Remember what I said above about affirmations and venting? They’re the same thing, except one feels good and one doesn’t. They’re both reenforcing thoughts. They’re either helping you create new ones or, they’re reinforcing old ones, good or bad, it doesn’t matter. That’s what we do when we repeat the same thought over and over. We train ourselves to believe it.

Here are some practical tips for shifting your thoughts.

Spend some time noticing your thoughts and the feelings that come with them. Don’t judge them, just notice them. You can’t consciously change it, if you aren’t aware that it’s there.
Start with thoughts that don’t have a huge charge emotionally. Things that are less intense will be easier to address at first.
When you notice a thought arising or an emotion that’s not so great tell yourself that it’s just a thought. It’s just an emotion. It’s not necessarily a fact. Remember all emotions and many thoughts aren’t rational. This isn’t an intellectual exercise.
Using affirmations is only helpful if you believe what you’re telling yourself. You don’t have to be fully on board yet but, there has to be some level of belief for them to work.
Always frame your affirmations in a positive light and in the present tense.
Never give yourself grief for anything, ever. It serves no good purpose.

This obviously isn’t a comprehensive list. I thought it would be fun and helpful if readers commented and added some suggestions of their own in the comments. I have been consciously practicing affirmations for years along with the principles of the law of attraction. They both have helped me immeasurably.

One of the things I do twice each day while I’m brushing my teeth, is look in the mirror and tell myself, “I love you. I am a good person. I approve of myself. I deserve a wonderfully happy life.” I mix it up, using different short affirming sentences each time. I find that looking myself in the eye really helps.

I hope this has been helpful and would love to hear about your affirmation practice in the response section.

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This post was previously published on Change Becomes You.

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