Finally, you are together, yes!
Then what?
In an intermittent long-distance relationship, you may spend 6 months apart, while the rest 6 months you are stick-like gum.
From one night to another, you pass from hanging out with friends frequently to be unavailable for the whole world because guess who is in town? — Yes, your lover.
Normally, you want to be 24/7 with your lovebird. However, having me-time and respect each other individuality and personal life is the tip you want to follow to make your long-distance relationship lasts.
. . .
A Long Distance Relationship Doesn’t Culminate in a Rencounter But Learning How to Make The Best Of Your Time Together Face-to-Face
You feel anxious, you feel nervous and you have a butterfly army in your stomach.
I know the exciting moment in the airport, in the bus station or in the cafe where you are having your first date after being apart.
You just want to see once again their smiling face and bright eyes. You are living the day that seemed too far to come.
Although the previous days were hell for those who are impatient like me. As tighter the countdown gets, the more difficult the wait gets. And what about the night before? — Ah, a nightmare.
This is the best part of beautiful and desired rencounters but what comes next will determine the future and the health of your relationship.
How you manage your time together. You will have to learn how to respect each other’s necessities, personal life and boundaries.
. . .
How to Pass From Being Apart to be Together 24/7 Without Feeling Overwhelmed
Having a relationship is to block time in your calendar to be unavailable for the rest of the world to spend all the time together with your love who is visiting for a timeframe.
You guys have waited so long to be together that you will not waste a single minute being apart. Which is a good idea for a short time visit.
But when it comes to long visits it is crucial to learn how to gather around with the same person for the whole day, for the next few weeks or months.
Chances are you both get overwhelmed and bored of each other. This happens because even though you love each other, you are not used to each other’s company.
You guys are used to live on your own. You are used to going out with friends or on your own to parties, to the theatre and restaurants, come home and talk to your overseas love about your day.
This should not change when you are living in the same land for a while. Each one of you has independence, individuality and personal life. You need to create memories and live experiences for yourself to get home and talk with your partner. Just as you used to do.
. . .
As Hard and Selfish it May Sound, You Need to Have Personal Me-Time.
Believe me.
Photo by João Ferrão on Unsplash
I know what you are thinking about, I can even hear your thoughts:
It is true, one of the harsh times of having someone living apart is the fact of missing someone in daily life. You wish you could randomly go out, take a walk and watch the sunset without major planning.
Spend some time alone, take a breath and join your partner. Same your partner needs this privacy to chill out with themselves.
This may not sound logical because you are urged of being together. But after having a long-distance relationship for three years, I wish I knew this easy tip to make my life easier.
Understanding that everyone needs and deserves personal time could have saved me from feeling overwhelmed and have wished not to come to Canada for a visit.
This is a very obvious thing to know about relationships. Long-distance relationships work differently because we go through a wave of emotions. We pass to be certain that we want to make this work to have doubts of the path to follow. We go to the extreme of not seen each other to want to be inseparable.
In a long-distance relationship remember that spending time on your own and respecting each other’s me-time when you are together will save your relationship from fail.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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