Hate and discrimination do not make any country great. America, let’s not repeat the same mistakes.
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“I’ve spent a month short of 78 years dealing with angry white men and they make me jumpy, to say the least.” That’s how my good friend, Ernie McCray began his most recent posting on “Angry White Men” in the San Diego Free Press. Reading it gave rise to many of my own trepidations as a grandchild of the Holocaust.
Raised in Tucson Arizona, Ernie grew up at a time when blacks were relegated to second-class citizenship because of Jim Crow Laws. During his childhood, blacks could not eat in white cafes, swim in white pools, skate at the rink with white people, go to schools in white neighborhoods, stay in the hotels, or sit anywhere but the balcony at the movie theaters. He remembers an unarmed black friend being killed by the police for allegedly “disturbing the peace.”
These ideals have guided our lives as much as anything, which brings us to the new and terrifying strain of racism that has raised it’s ugly head in America.
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My story began 67 years ago in New York. Born to Jewish parents, named for my Uncle Kaseal, an attorney in Vienna who spoke out against Hitler and was murdered by a band of Angry White (German) Men. Growing up on McDermott Road in Rockville Center, New York next to a Country Club that did not allow Jews, I would listen to my Aunt Eva’s stories of what it was like to escape from Munich, say goodbye to her parents, and hide from Nazi’s in the basement of a French family for two years.
Fiercely determined to fit into the tapestry of America, my father worked hard to become a successful businessman and member of our community. I may not have “looked like a Jew,” but I lived with the fear that the underlying hatred of Jews would one day catch up with me. And it has at times in my life. The Angry White Men of Ernie’s childhood hated people with dark skin, while the ones in mine hated Jews.
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The sharp edges of hatred and inequality deepened Ernie’s and my commitment to never be like these people, to develop a sense of social justice and compassion for all who suffer (including Angry White Men who were down and out, and feeling hopeless). It also led us to champion the kind of understanding that leads to equal opportunity and peace. These ideals have guided our lives as much as anything, which brings us to the new and terrifying strain of racism that has raised it’s ugly head in America.
The Constitutional edict that “all men are created equal” seems to have resurfaced once again in our nation. Across the battle lines of a bloody Civil War, Civil Rights Movement and, more recently, the public outrage around racial profiling, human rights, and equality are on trial. The popularity of Presidential Candidate and Reality TV celebrity, Donald Trump, as he calls out our mixed-race President, Muslims, and Mexicans to the mantra of, “Make America Great Again” is very telling. Even more telling is the degree of support he has garnished.
Are “we the people” holding ourselves and one another accountable as stewards of this nation?
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“Trump’s angry white men have resided in the world of the silent majority” says Ernie, adding “they’ve seethed at the sights of mosques being built; cringed as Chicano and African American families moved in next door or down the street from them; pouted at the very notion of affirmative action; swooned when the confederate flag was lowered and removed; cursed the “political correctness” that has caused them to hold their pent up feelings in.” Ernie concludes, “Trump lessens their fears. Tells them it’s all right to let off a little steam and kick a little ass.” The idea that some men are less equal and threaten our way of life by virtue of their religion and race, has awakened the heart of fear in White Supremacist America. And even more disturbingly, it has resonated with millions of voters across our nation who have made “The Donald” into the Republican frontrunner for the office of President of The United States of America.
What about the rest of us? How are we feeling about “Those Muslims, Mexicans, African Americans, and Jews” these days? We’re all admittedly concerned, if not scared, over the violence, economic hardship, and threats to the environment we see in our country and the world. Are we turning fear into hatred? Indifference into silence? Bigotry into votes? Or building bridges of understanding, rather than walls? Are “we the people” holding ourselves and one another accountable as stewards of this nation? Creating the inclusive, collaborative atmosphere in which Democracy thrives? Building a sense of community? Cultivating a vision on common ground? Working together to bring reasonable, rational, concrete strategies to the table (that can be implemented)? Diffusing the fear? And summoning the courage to create a better future?
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Over coffee, Ernie and I came up with a Code of Civility we believe is the antidote (actively or silently, consciously or unconsciously) to perpetuating hatred-and-fear driven thinking and behavior. It is as follows:
1. Take responsibility for the fears and sense of actual threat we feel as opposed to projecting our fears onto others.
2. Build bridges of understanding, respect and compassion in hearts that translate to our families’ neighborhoods, communities, nation and world. Actively promote peace.
3. Soften and humble our hearts to the plight of others and do what you can to help them in the ways you would want other to help you and your family.
4. Do your homework on who the real enemy is and support local as well as national efforts to protect you, your family, your neighbors and our nation
5. Forgive ourselves and ask for forgiveness from others for the ways we have hurt others (in the spirit of truth and reconciliation)
6. Call out fellow citizens who are “feeding the beast” of racism, anti-Semitism, bigotry, violence and hatred. Hold them accountable to perpetuating destructive ways of thinking and behaving.
7. Take a compassionate stance in reaching across the aisle to listen, understand and speak to peoples fear, pain and discontent.
There may always be Angry White Men, Women, African American’s and Jews in our midst. By rededicating ourselves to being the antidote, moving from anger and fear to higher (common) ground and turning our diversity into opportunity we can make the world a safer, better place for all our kids, grand kids and future generations.
By Dr. Ken Druck, with Ernie McCray
If we are taking statistics into account, then we may want to look at the angry black wo/men problem in America. I don’t really go in for white guilt either way.
I agreed with you Zemus about looking at angry black men and women in America. Too many of them lose their temper over everything and anything and it is like walking on eggshells when they are around.
Maybe, just maybe you all are weaklings, and that you are afraid of your own shadows?! BOO! You all want us to walk on eggshells when you are around, and when most of us don’t, you feel threatened. No one wants to curse you out or beat you up! Most of the time, we are not even thinking about you? If you see us with what you think is a scowl on our faces, maybe just maybe our feet hurt, or maybe our grandma/pa’s just died. Stop being so fearful and love thy neighbor as it is written!
Maybe just maybe many of you would needs take an anger management class since you are too sensitive over a lot of trivia stuff. and make a federal case out of them.
A little more Your article is about angry white men in America. I did read it before I commented. But look abroad Ken, the same happens in other countries and on other continents. And who is the real enemy? 5: Soften and humble your heart to the plight of others….. Yes Angela did so in Germany and the Swedes is still doing it but now nobody know where all this will end as newcomers are not always that willing to integrate into a new culture they do not always like nor respect nor do they permit their children to integrate… Read more »
Why should they integrate to a new culture? What is wrong with a few different cultures in a country?
Culture constantly learn from each other as they interact – and no culture is perfect. So every has something they can learn from another culture. And the only way they will ever learn is if they drop this attitude that the “other” is inferior and should change.
Because we predominantly speak English. Why should I have support driving manuals in 7 different languages when all of our traffic signs are in english? We are are a judo Christian nation of laws we developed. I have zero interest in incorporating sharia since this one works well enough. And no I don’t think they’re inferior. But they CHOSE to come here so that implies they like this well enough to incorporate into our values. By all means. Open cultural stores and restaurants. But do not tell me to change my life because it would make you feel more at… Read more »
Hi Ken I am sure you are a good man and your Phd tells me you are intelligent as well. You should come to Europe these day. Fences are build, on borders between countries. Tear gas is used. I am sure you read news papers. In you article here you write 4: Do our homework on who the real enemy is …. Yes Ken, but that is not an easy question to answer. It used to be easy but now it seem far more complicated to analyse the situation about what is happening . Jews are scared in Europe today… Read more »
This piece is stupid. How does the author propose we make an all inclusive society? Well, by implying all white men are angry white men and feeding the fear and suspicion beast that continues to drive a wedge between social elements. The police officer who killed the friend in the beginning (if unwarranted which wasn’t proven at all, so I guess we just have to take your fear mongoring word for it) wasn’t an angry white man, he was a murdering racist as were the German men who killed the activist. To generalize the category of perpetrator as simply white… Read more »
Scott, well stated but I have to tell you that it’s not angry “old” people saying you’re hateful. It is though a population of progressives, mostly young, who are making the claim.
As usual, Mr. Brechlin, you are wrong.
@ G
Hate can be shown in many different ways. Specifically excluding whites and / or men is a form of hate as well.
Well Mr. Anderson, until white men stop with their racist, sexist attitudes, the hate and discrimination of white men will continue to be hidden from view.
And the progressive way has done what? Never in history have we have so many mom’s without husbands, kids with fathers … yeah you’re right G, the progressive way of the younger generation has produced some great results.
What have the conservative way ever done? Never in history have we have so many poor people at home and around the world. Yeah, Mr. Brechlin, the conservative way of both the older and younger generation has produced some tragic, sad results.
Yeah Mr. Brechlin, what has the conservative way ever done to support and help maintain the American family in terms of free/affordable health care/college, good paying jobs, excellent labor protections, nice retirement system, etc.? Never in history have we have so few rich people control half of the world’s wealth. Yeah, the older and younger conservative generations really did their part in creating the mess.
Sure is alot of hate, profiling, and accusation for a piece aimed at ebbing hate, profiling, and accusation. There is unjustified anger and there is justified anger, yet there is no justifiable discrimination whether its called “affirmative action”, “quotas”, or anything else. It is simply hate of a different color, justified by the group gaining benifit from such. There is black anger out there that is rightious when considering the discrimination they may face. There was female anger when such was justified, however, when we have visited upon us male anger we jump on the hyperbole bandwagon, begin profiling and… Read more »
“And one must take care that he who fights monsters does not become one himself.” EVERYONE should check themselves and their anger. Yes, SOME white, cisgendered, heterosexual men are bigots. But so are some African-Americans. And homosexuals. And transgendered people. And women. Et cetera, et cetera and so forth, because bigotry can be perpetuated by anyone, towards anyone – regardless of whether or not a societal oppressive system exists or not. They are two different realms of oppression/bigotry, yet the latter informs the other. Not all rectangles are squares, but all squares are rectangles. So it is the same with… Read more »