I go back to work tomorrow, to work outside, to preemptively help save a forest from fire, but to get there requires a 2-hour commute round trip. That’s two gallons of gas for those wondering. $7 dollars in gas daily. $7 dollars that goes to support the petro-gods sitting on high, the worker bees, the roughnecks, the auto mechanics, the freeway asphalt repavers…In the current paradigm, this makes me a good citizen because I’m working a job that creates jobs. The gasoline burned in my car’s engine builds an economic vacuum, creates demand for some supply, I literally am the grease that turns the wheels of industry.
I’m also a villain, a carbon criminal, burning two gallons of gas daily to help buy a new skateboard, pay bills, and pay down debt from when I got sick and couldn’t work for months (mental health stuff—blessings be to those who survive the darkness, to walk the earth nodding thanks and giving freely from their hearts. They were the ones to save me).
That’s all noble and good, right? Right?! What’s nobler than paying bills, being responsible to the present, and still getting time to surf that concrete wave? 40 pounds of carbon daily, only 20 pounds per gallon, and I’m saving forest with mitigation. From fire, from an angry climate, and all those crazies out there that are actually hurting the earth…
When my grandkids ask me why the sky is yellow instead of blue and why the mountains are burned-free from trees and scared deep with new ravines, and was I culpable the only answer becomes, yes, and I’m sorry. I was stuck. They trapped me and the only way forward was through. Blue is a beautiful color. Let’s go fingerpaint and I’ll show you.
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This post was previously published on Greener Together.
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Photo credit: Bradley Flora
