Do you believe in soulmates? The idea that there is someone special for you out there. Someone with whom you will feel the instant connection the moment your eyes meet. Your hearts will start racing. Not in a scary way, like you’re getting a heart attack, but in a good way.
If there is just one person out there for everyone, what are the chances he or she is living in your zip code? They can be in a totally different country or even a different continent.
In Plato’s Symposium, Aristophanes shared the myth of soulmates.
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The Myth of Soulmates
“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.” — Plato.
The Symposium is a philosophical text written by Plato containing discussions on sex, gender and human instincts. In this book, there was Aristophanes. He was a famous Greek theatre and comedy writer.
Aristophanes said that there are three genders — the man, woman and androgynous. Androgynous literally means man-woman in Greek.
Basically, humans were super powerful and had four arms and four legs, a head with two faces and both male and female sex organs. The Gods were threatened by them and decided to split them in half.
The humans all over the world were split in half, and these new humans were filled with misery. They wouldn’t eat or drink for days.
Apollo, God of music, truth and prophecy, healing, and light, could not bear to see them like this, so he sewed them up. Now, they only have two legs, two arms, one face and single-sex, either male or female. The navel was the only reminder of their true form.
Their physical nature would feel a burning desire to be completed with the physical nature of the other sex, and their soul alike would yearn for their soul’s other half to be complete, their soulmate. And according to the myth, when these two halves find each other, there will be a silent understanding of one another. They will feel joined and exist with each other in unison and will know no greater joy than that. — The Myth of Soulmates.
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Do You Believe in Soulmates?
I am in a relationship for over 7 years now and still don’t believe in soulmates. I didn’t know the moment I saw him that we’re meant to be. Nor did I feel the instant connection.
I liked him, and he liked me. We worked on our relationship together. It was not always sunshine and roses.
But some people believe in soulmates. My parents had an arranged marriage, and they met for the first time on the day they were married.
My mother says there was an instant connection between them and she never felt like she didn’t know him and vice versa. Though my father doesn’t believe in using so many words.
But if there are soulmates, how would we find them? There are almost 7.9 billion people on this planet and around 6,500 languages. Even with the internet, the chances of finding your perfect half in your country, let alone your continent, is very low.
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Do You Need a Soulmate to Be Happy?
Let’s say we don’t find our soulmate, but we find someone. Someone who is compatible with us and loves us as we love them. Someone who will be with us always. But we can never truly know if he/she is our soulmate.
What will you do? If you’re happy in a relationship with someone and I tell you that this person, who you are in love with, is not your soulmate and if you wait, you’ll find that person.
Will you leave the relationship?
How exactly can we know if the person we’re with now is our soulmate?
The truth is, we cannot. I will never know if the person I am currently with is my soulmate. We can never find out in advance if the relationship will work. If people knew, no one would get a divorce. No one will enter a relationship, knowing it will not last.
When we are in a relationship, we want it to last forever. That is why people marry, to solidify their commitment. There is a reason wedding is a billion-dollar industry, even after seeing a 34.2% decline in 2020.
People believe in love. I don’t believe in soulmates, but I do believe in love.
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Are You Incomplete Without Your Soulmate?
What if I don’t want to marry anyone, ever? What if I had found no one and wanted to live alone, on my own terms?
Does this mean my life is incomplete?
Having someone is great. But it’s also a matter of choice. If someone doesn’t want to be in a relationship or marry, it’s their choice.
I had always wanted to live in the mountains with two dogs in a small wooden house. A house with an enormous library. I would have been completely happy in that life, too.
I am happy now. It’s just that now I get to live with the person I love. I get to share my life with him. But if I don’t want that, I don’t want people to force me to get married and settle down.
For me, the myth of soulmates is just that. A myth. Even if it’s a good one.
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We are surrounded by people who are constantly telling us what we are supposed to do. Everyone has an opinion on how you should live your life. You will always find some people who will judge you every step of the way.
They will judge your job, passion, clothes and your lifestyle. They want you to lose or gain weight. People who are constantly reminding you how you are wasting your life and you should do this or that.
Ignore everyone.
You have a right to live your life the way you want. You can be whatever you want (unless it’s a criminal) and you can be with whomever you want (again, preferably not a criminal).
We don’t need anyone else to complete us. We need people to support us through thick and thin and people who will be with us no matter what.
We’re complete the way we are.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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