Doing unto your partner as they have done to you is not the road to happiness if what’s being done is wrong.
A book I read recently, by a well-known spiritual guru, talks about woman and her powers, and I came across a section which suggests a way for women to get over insecurities , jealousy, and desire for love when they find a man inclined towards other women. And the suggestion is to do the same as your man is doing to you, because it’s your right too.
I agree on the point of equality here, but I really find it ridiculous that it recommends copying the behavior of a married man, or a man in relationship, who is inclined towards other women and making his partner suffer.
I believe this is not what spiritualism guides you to; rather it’s the baby of materialism, where you want to satisfy your needs at any cost. Copying a wrong attribute or behavior is not a path to quench your thirst and fulfill your desires just because you think that the other person will feel and understand your problem when he or she faces the same.
First of all, it’s not about men or women; it can be either way, initiated by a man or a woman in a relationship. But why should the person not copy their partner in terms of self-interest, fulfillment of material, emotional and sexual desires?
Firstly, the person who is suffering the betrayal or infidelity knows the amount of pain that is caused due to this, so whoever is truly in love and true to their relationship, or humane in nature will never cause that amount of pain to their partner.
Secondly, when a person realizes that their partner is doing something that is wrong and not acceptable, not in society , nor in a personal relationship, and also, if the wrong behavior of that partner has troubled the family and relationships severely, why would a sane person do exactly the same to ruin the complete identity of that relationship?
Thirdly, a relationship as an entity or as a word has no existence when the people in it run in opposite directions to attain materialistic accomplishments. How can it be called a relationship? It becomes an agreement, like a rent agreement where the landlord and the tenant might share the same house but they are not concerned to each other’s life. An agreement is not a relationship.
In a relationship, even if one of the partners is walking in the wrong direction, it’s the other partner’s responsibility to help them get back to the right, but if they don’t come back, this should not make the other person get on the wrong track too.
It’s their own choice how they will make things better for themselves. I would never recommend clinging on to the person who no longer cares for you; I would never suggest lamenting over the situation and treating yourself as victim; I would also not say to not enjoy your life and freedom. But copying the wrong behavior is not a solution.
Lastly, the desire for love that goes missing when such occurrences happen can be rekindled in oneself through a lot of different ways, getting closer to the people or friends who love you, getting close to nature and things you love to do; your kids’ love, or your parents’ love and their support is the best medicine.
Following the person who is walking blindly will close all the doors to happiness and when I say happiness, I mean the kind of happiness that can only be achieved when you do what is right and not under the influence of seeking temporary or momentary happiness, because then you will again get disheartened and discontented.