Dear Athletic Support: A bunch of my son’s friends live in our neighborhood. They’re all in middle school. They play all the sports. Our house is centrally located with a big lot in the back, and an extra-wide driveway. So, yeah, all these boys are over at our house all the time. I love it. I love that I get to watch my son interact with his friends. I like knowing right where he is and what he’s doing. Mostly these boys just play sports. Football and baseball in the big lot, basketball in the driveway. There is one downside to all this, though. My wife and I are the only parents there to watch them. The boys play nice most of the time, except when they’re playing football. One boy always ends up tackling all the others. He’s a big kid. Rough too. I’m never really sure what to say to him. I mean, I’m not his parent, but it is my house. How in the world am I supposed to discipline somebody else’s kid, or should I even discipline him at all? — The Cool House
Dear Cool House: The last thing you want is for one of the kids to get hurt on your watch. If you let this big kid keep playing rough, that’s what will happen.
The first thing you need to do is try talking to the big boy in private. Pull him aside before the other boys notice. Nobody likes being called out in front of their peers, middle school boys hate it even more.
When you talk to him, be clear about what you expect. Tell him the rules of your house. Also, warn him what will happen if he breaks those rules. You would be well within your rights as a parent to keep this boy from coming to your house if he continues playing too rough.
There’s a good chance his parents will call after your talk. Nobody likes it when their kid gets parented by another parent. So, this conversation might set off all sorts of alarms for the big boy’s parents. Tell them you have to take the other kid’s safety into consideration. Tell them how you gave him the private warning and told him explicitly what the consequences would be.
If the parents still don’t like it — or the big boy keeps showing up — you have every right to notify the proper authorities. In the end, it’s your house and you should do what you can to protect it.
Eli Cranor is a former professional quarterback and coach turned award-winning author. His debut novel, Don’t Know Tough, is available for preorder wherever books are sold. Send questions for “Athletic Support” to [email protected]
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