Image: Scenario 1 always result in clash. Scenario 2 never does!
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Things will ONLY worsen if you raise your voice; under no circumstances, whatsoever, you should do that. So what should you do as a parent when your teen back answers?
Scenario 1
Let’s say your teen is in a bad mood and when you requested him to complete his work. This is what happens:
Teen: “Why I have to keep doing one or the other stuff?”
Dad: “But you’re watching TV for past 3 hours”
Teen: “Why can’t you let me live ?” “This is so suffocating!”
Dad: “OK Let me take away your internet access and you can’t watch TV”
Teen: ‘OKKKK, DO WHATEVER!!”
Dad: “OKKKK, I DID WHAT I WANTED!!!!”
See how your being agitated at your teens bad behavior can only worsen the things. If your teen is mad for some reason, please don’t get mad. If you get angry like your teen, there’s bound to be a clash in this situation. See the scenario 1 in the pic above.
Scenario 2
Here’s how I would deal with this:
Me: “Complete your work ”
Teen: “Why I have to keep doing one or other stuff?”
Me: “So what do you want to do”
Teen: “Keep watching TV”
Me: “How about you watch for next 10 mins and then do some other thing of your choice?”
Teen: “20 mins”
Me: “15 mins”
Teen: OK
Me: “So what are you planning to do next”
Teen: “I don’t know”
Me: Think about it and let me know
Teen: I will read a book
Me: That’s great.
If your teen is crossing the limit by 5 steps, you take 15 steps back and move towards your calm behavior. See scenario 2 in the pic above. This way you will talk calmly and in a better state to explain to your teen why and where they are wrong. This will automatically sort things out.
If you’re trying my method, please let me know in comment section below. how this has worked for you?
Also, I would love to know what issues are you facing in your parenting so I can let you know my take on that!
Till we meet next, happy parenting!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Image courtesy of author.
