Beliefs Built in a Very Small World

Beliefs Built in a Very Small World

By Andrea Wilburn

Always faithful

Always wanting to put God first

But like Job worshipped his fears

More strongly than his God

So I worship mine.

I project my helplessness onto God

Convinced that this evil might beat Him

At least for a moment of weakness

Where God wants to love

And He lets his guard down

And He becomes as weak as me

Seeing kindness where it was only an act.

I don’t always see Him as my stronghold

I see Him as a Love that sometimes fails

Seeing good where there is none

And giving an extra chance

To someone who spends it on cruelty.

I am afraid God is like me

I am afraid God will have mercy at my expense

I am afraid God will allow hatefulness

And forgive at the expense of another

I am afraid of scarcity

Where one person’s forgiveness

Is another person’s destruction

Where there is an excess of grace

To the point it takes grace from another

And I am afraid.

But my beliefs were built in a very small world

And I am seeing that I get them wrong

Sometimes. Oftentimes.

If I am learning to see the truth

With more definition and greater clarity

Sure God has already learned

And He will not define love

At the expense of another’s safety.

I don’t understand love in respect to boundaries.

I don’t know what that looks like.

But I trust that God does.

And I trust that He will make a way.

And so I trust.

Thank You.

Amen.

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