Sarah SM is an eleventh grade student who always believed that a “Magical Boyfriend Fairy” would come along some day and bring her a boyfriend. She’s about to grow up very fast.
Every summer I told myself the same thing, you’ll get a boyfriend this year. Summer came and went, and yet I didn’t get a boyfriend. I guess I had some weird fantasy that the minute 8th grade came along something like the “Magical Boyfriend Fairy” would appear and give me one. It didn’t quite work like that.
Eighth grade was the year I asked the guy I liked to be my valentine. It was the most outgoing thing I had ever done concerning a guy. Before that I was kind of a stalker. I was at school with all of my friends and the sun was beating down on my back. I felt like it was taunting me. I was already growing nervous, which meant that I was simultaneously hot and cold. I could see Nick walking down the metal ramp that led to the hard concrete of the deck. I waved to him, trying to fan myself in the process. I remember my mind blanking when I saw him, and then just one thought popped into my brain: He looks like a squirrel. I got over that quick enough. So there he was, walking towards me, looking faintly like a squirrel. I looked up at him and said,
“Hey Nick, do you want to maybe, um, maybe, like, be, like, my, um, valentine?”
His voice cracked, “Yeah!”
And then came Zach. Zach was Nick’s best friend, and a very good friend of mine too. He knew about my crush. It was eighth grade. So he opened his big mouth and said,
When Valentine’s Day came rolling around I was too embarrassed to start a conversation, so I practically threw a box of chocolates at him and yelled,
And that was the last time I ever looked at Nick for the rest of the school year.
Ninth grade was the year I went on my first real date without actually knowing it. His name was Miles. I had no interest in going out with him; I was too busy obsessing over this other guy, Jake, who I had to kiss for a play. My parents insisted that it was a date, and I laughed, repeatedly telling them, and praying to any God who would listen, that it was not a date. It was a date. It took me the whole damn date to figure it out, but it was a date. What tipped me off was when he paid for my ice cream, tried to hold my hand and then tried to kiss me. I was so shocked that my parents had been right, that I never spoke to Miles again.
Ninth grade was also the year I liked Jake. I had to kiss him. My prospects were good, he was nice, he was a friend, he had good style, and he was attractive. I thought everything was great, until he came out. Good for him, good for increasing my friendship circle, not so great on that whole boyfriend part, at least with me.
Tenth grade. Finally got a date. Finally realized that dates aren’t that great. All I talked about with Alan was that we both enjoyed guacamole. Let me repeat that, for a date that was the duration of a movie and dinner, our main topic of conversation was guacamole. Guacamole.
Tenth grade was also the year I liked Cal, and Norman, and Paulo. And anything romantic I had to do with them pretty much ends at that sentence right there.
So now there’s 11th grade me. Realizing for probably the first summer ever, that there’s no Magical Boyfriend Fairy. I have to take matters into my own hands, or maybe I’ll just find a really good wingman.
Sarah SM. is an eleventh grade student who enjoys writing and acting. She lives in Los Angeles with her family.
Photo: vintagechica / flickr