I’m sure you have heard the stereotypes. Crazy, abusive, controlling. These are some of the few ways many people would describe someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. They’re labels and words used to explain a complex disorder that many people simply don’t understand aside from those who deal with their BPD daily.
Defying the stereotypes you may have heard, people with BPD are none of those things. They’re intelligent, driven, and the most compassionate.
People who have borderline personality disorder may go through severe mood swings and struggle with their self-image. They can abruptly go from intense closeness to intense hatred of others. Unstable relationships and emotional suffering can result from these shifting emotions.
This is often described as “black and white thinking”. People with BPD don’t see the grey area, instead, they see black and white eg: good and bad, with little to no between.
BPD is often characterised by extreme impulsivity, chaotic relationships, identity issues, and an intense fear of abandonment. people with this disorder feel every emotion to the most extreme.
However, in this post, I am going to talk about some of the common symptoms people with BPD suffer from, that are not commonly discussed in the media.
Age regression
Reverting back to an earlier state of mind, from a few years from the physical age to early childhood/infancy. This is an unconscious defense mechanism to protect yourself from triggering memories or feelings.
Even though memories have happened in the past, they can feel as if they are in the present. This phenomenon is called the “ever-present past”. So whenever you get triggered your body feels as if it is happening right now, and freeze, fight, flight kicks in.
Characteristics of this symptom can look like many things from thumb sucking, baby talk, silly child-like moods or even wanting to use a bottle, teddy bears, etc.
Age regression is not to be confused with the ABDL kink or fetish, where you consciously revert to a younger state of mind. Age regression as a symptom of a disorder is not sexual or voluntary.
This symptom is not necessarily a bad thing but it can be uncomfortable at times if you are around people who you aren’t close to, or if you don’t have a safe space.
Age regression can be helpful to “unlock” childhood memories or feelings you may have dissociated from.
If done in therapy, it can be very beneficial and healing, as you can acknowledge your inner child and help them heal from the trauma they may be holding on to
Hypersexuality and Masochism
People with BPD commonly tend to have a lot of reckless or unsafe sex often with multiple sexual partners. They frequently have sex to fill the empty void they are feeling, not because they truly want to be intimate
Most people associate self-harm with cutting or burning, however some claim that hypersexuality in people with BPD can also result in sexual masochism.
Allowing physical pain during intercourse is said to be sexual masochism. Endorphins may be released as a result, giving the person a “high” or just a tranquil feeling. This has a similar impact on other self-harming practices.
It can also be an unknowingly attempt to recreate a past trauma over which they had no control, to change the outcome.
Hypersexuality and Masochism are usually trauma responses and not authentic sexual desires.
Sex repulsion
Similar to the ‘black and white thinking” mentioned earlier, this can also be displayed through sex.
On one spectrum the individual can be hypersexual and on the other, they can be sexually avoidant and be completely repulsed by sex altogether.
Sex repulsion can be complicated and can put a strain on relationships for people suffering from BPD.
Favorite person
The favorite person is seen as the most significant person in the life of a person with BPD. Anybody might be this person, but it’s frequently a significant other, a member of the family, a close friend, or another encouraging individual (like a coach, therapist, or teacher). This person can end up being the source of all fulfillment and approval.
People with BPD put their favorite person up on a pedestal and can only see the good in them. Nearly every aspect of their life revolves around their “favorite person” interests, and opinions.
A favorite person is someone in a BPD suffers’ life that they can not live without and will struggle to function if they feel distant or are in disagreement with their FP.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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