New Pattern Unlocked
The play structures were naturally full of children running up and down stairs, climbing ladders, shooting down slides. I, however, stood on the perimeter considering which line I was going to take.
Ticky-tack to the bottom of the slide, then leap to grab the vertical bar, followed by a one-arm grab to the coiled ladder, from which I would swing my body around to grab the vertical bar again.
This is parkour talk for “tracing,” finding a line amongst a series of objects from which to traverse by way of jumps and grabs, all of it spontaneous and risky.
What I’ve learned through this sport is to see lines traced in everything. Patterns, if you will, that were always there, but no one pointed them out. Only you can see them. Experimenting with this type of movement has not only trained my body to move through space differently, it’s also rewired my brain to identify new patterns in everything.
The unintended consequence of this has helped me see old patterns that no longer serve me. From the new, I can now see the old, and how the old has created bad wiring in my psyche.
Vices, bad habits, ticks, recurring anxieties, etc. now glare at me in clear focus. Where I was once a child simply considering a slide, I am now looking for a way to jump over it.
The slide being a metaphor for the easy way out. The worn out pattern that’s a quick fix, but that does nothing to challenge me.
When I’m about to fall into a familiar way, my brain is now tapping me on the shoulder and saying, “That’s an old pattern and it will not serve you.” It’s truly becoming a way of life.
Certainly I cave once in a while, falling victim to something that leaves me feeling guilty or anxious or depressed, but even then I’m able to break that pattern and ask myself what it serves to wallow in those detrimental emotions.
One night, as I was fighting some encroaching insomnia, thinking about how the week might go off the rails, I stopped and hugged myself and asked: “What if everything turns out just fine? What if it all simply works out and everything is okay?”
Then, instead of tossing and turning, I gave myself the biggest hug, told myself that I loved me, and that everything was going to be fine.
New pattern unlocked.
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Photo by Ash Edmonds on Unsplash
