“Brooding Over Blunders Is the Biggest Blunder!”

“Brooding over blunders is the biggest blunder” -Muhammad Ali (1942–2016)

The Champ was right! Merely dwelling on past blunders is just a very unproductive use of our precious time. Beating ourselves up over things we don’t control, or things of little consequence only leave us feeling worse in the long run.

There is no shame in falling into error. There is only shame when we fail to learn lessons from our past mistakes and correct our behavior in the present, as we move forward. Making mistakes is part of what makes us human even though when we look back, we see some things we would love to have done differently while some things we wish we didn’t do at all.

“There is no shame in falling into error there is only shame when we fail to learn lessons from our past mistakes and correct our behavior in the present, as we move forward.”

Why we brood over past blunders

Why do we then still find ourselves silently dwelling on past events that make us sad, worried, or even angry?

• Ruminating or obsessing over past blunders is unfortunately, an unhealthy habit people can sometimes develop
• We tend to over-amplify the blunders making them seem more severe than they actually are.
• Due to a psychological phenomenon called the “spotlight effect,” some of us can come to believe that we are being noticed more than we actually are, and so we think other people are also focused on our slipups. This happens because people are prone to overlook the fact that though they are the centers of their own worlds, they are not necessarily the center of everyone else’s.

The undesirable effects of brooding over blunders

1. The habit is not just an unproductive use of precious time, according to the experts, it is also a common symptom of anxiety and mood disorders.
2. Constantly brooding over your blunders can make you feel like a failure or underachiever because you are so focused on the things you did “wrong” while ignoring all the things you have done well.
3. Generally, people who constantly dwell over past blunders are not very effective at problem-solving because they either don’t think of solutions or are less likely to pursue them quickly enough.
4. We can end up beating ourselves up for blunders that have little to no real consequences.
5. When it comes to relationships, brooding over past blunders can affect your present as well as your future. For instance, when you constantly ruminate over the poor choices you have made in previous relationships, it can dampen your motivation to start new and potentially more fulfilling ones, or negatively affect your demeanor in your already ongoing one.

“When it comes to relationships, brooding over past blunders can affect your present as well as your future.”

How to get rid of the habit for good

Own your blunders of the past and accept there are ‘undo’ buttons in life. The only reason to spend any amount of time dwelling on past mistakes is to learn from them and chart a way forward for the future.

One valuable skill that is very helpful in keeping from needlessly brooding is the ability to bring your mind back to the present whenever you find yourself ruminating over past mistakes. A technique that is surprisingly effective according to clinical psychologist Alice Boyes Ph.D., writing for Harvard Business Review, is to quickly distract yourself by engaging in any activity that is “short and mentally absorbing but not extraordinarily difficult,” and she says it can something as simple as “spending 10 minutes filling out an expense report!”

To be able to escape being bogged down by the unnecessary stress that comes with constantly brooding over your past blunders, practice gratitude for all the things that are going right in your life. You should be able to be grateful for:

• the things you did right,
• the errors you were able to avoid, and
• the errors you have been able to correct and/or learn from.

Practicing gratitude fosters hope for the future, reduces stress, and increases your resilience.

Conclusion

Even though many of us have had bouts of brooding over past blunders, it is fortunately a habit one can break to avoid the attendant negative effects. Once we become aware we are engaging in it, we can avoid a number of strategies to break free and escape its ill effects like refocusing our minds on the present, practicing gratitude for the things we have going right, and going into problem-solving mode.

“One day you will sit quietly in a quiet place and think about your past! The avalanche of your past mistakes will come and fall on you! If you are a weak person, you will be crushed under this avalanche; if you are a strong person, you will laugh at your past and continue on your way!” -Mehmet Murat ildan

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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