If the issues addressed in this post interests you, please consider becoming an Existential Wellness Coach. To learn more about our Existential Wellness Coach Certificate Program, please visit here.

In my last post, I wondered about whether a certain sort of man—the “third archetype” of manliness, to stand beside (and replace) the sensitive man and the macho man, an archetype we might call the wise man, the stoic man, or the man of quiet strength—could exist in “real life.” Is there something in the nature of our species that makes it hard, verging on impossible, for men to approach this ideal? Can men become Atticus Finch, that revered character in To Kill a Mockingbird, or is he out of reach?

Let’s call this third archetype “the new man,” someone who is calm and composed and displays a principled form of masculinity, someone who balances strength with restraint, wisdom with action, and independence with responsibility. What about biology, psychology, or the world might prevent men from rising to this high-bar place?

Well, there’s our neurological wiring. Our rather large amygdala, linked to emotional intensity, aggression, and an active reward system, contributes to impulsivity rather than the restraint associated with wisdom or quiet strength. That doesn’t help.

Then there’s testosterone. Testosterone is associated with risk-taking and dominance-seeking behavior, which can conflict with the patience and long-term thinking required for wisdom. Maybe that’s why we associate wisdom with age—maybe it’s simply testosterone levels declining to the point where wisdom is possible. But that’s a long time to wait for wisdom.

Then there are our various stress responses, cortisol sensitivity, and heightened fight-or-flight responses, making it harder to remain calm under pressure and making men that much more irritable and emotionally volatile. Not much help for an aspiring Stoic.

And all that dopamine-driven behavior, all that deep desire for external validation and external rewards, all those status-seeking and competitive itches. Does any of that foster serenity and wisdom?

Nor can the socialization process help much. If you are biologically competitive and aggressive to begin with, and then you are rewarded for that, socialized to suppress your emotions and be a man, and invited to ignore your insecurities and life’s everyday traumas and indignities, isn’t that a double-whammy, the psycho-social reinforcing the biological?

If we were doing science, we might somehow measure the contributions of each bio-psycho-social cause, calculate the percentages, and come up with some conclusions on the order of “the average man has only a 5% chance of ever becoming Atticus Finch.” But there is no science to invoke. We are just left with the wonder, are Wise Men and Stoic Men pretty much unicorns; and, if that is the case, what does that mean? If there is no Atticus Finch to be had, what are we to do?

More to come. All thoughts and comments welcome to [email protected]

Existential Wellness Coach Certificate Program

Brief Program Description:

Discover the profound world of Existential Wellness Coaching in a groundbreaking program that empowers you to guide others through life’s most profound questions.

Join us for a 26-week transformative journey into the heart of human existence. Delve into core existential ideas, explore the art of crafting life purposes, and embrace the authentic power of meaningful living.

This program is your key to making a real difference, not only in the lives of your clients but in your own life as well. With expert guidance from renowned thought leader Eric Maisel and the support of Noble Manhattan Coaching, you’ll gain the knowledge and skills needed to be among the world’s first Existential Wellness Coaches.

Don’t miss your chance to embark on a path of purpose, passion, and productivity. Register now and become a beacon of existential wellness in a world seeking answers to its most profound questions.