In Aikido, I am the image of my attacker. In the bigger picture, my attacker is me. O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” It’s only me against me. I overcome myself. I apply the Aikido technique to myself, not to the attacker. The size and strength of the attacker don’t matter. I just apply the technique to myself.
I change the image I give the attacker. When I change my image, I change the attack. I work on myself, not on the attacker. I invite the attack. I don’t oppose the attack. I don’t defend.
The attacker comes to grab my hand to punch me with their other hand. I change the kensen (the line of attack) and move back. I accelerate the attack to me. I match the attack in my attack. If I defend, I can be defeated. I let the attacker grab my hand on the new kensen. I change the image. I change myself, not the attacker. I attack the attacker’s center. The attacker attacks my center. We are images of each other, reflections of one another. We are the same.
I enter the attack and die with honor. Ishibashi Sensei said, “The safest place to be is under the attack, in the danger.” In the center of the attack, in the danger, I apply nikkyo (wristlock) to myself. I match the attack with yoko-iriminage (strike to the side of the head) to the attacker. I choose to let the attacker pass or end the attack. The attacker chooses to take the fall or stand down from their attack. We both choose.
I apply the technique to myself, not to the attacker. I work on myself, not on the attacker. I change the image I give the attacker whether that’s the 250-pound man coming to punch or life going off the rails. Still, I change myself. That changes the attack and the attacker.
I was not meaningful to someone. She used me until she could find someone meaningful she could love. No, that wasn’t as threatening as the angry 250-pound man trying to punch my head off. Still, that occurred and felt like an attack. At least from where I stood.
Kobayashi Sensei said, “Whoever attacks you is asking for your help.” The purpose of Aikido is to heal and repair others. Kobayashi Sensei taught Conard Hanshi. Hanshi, who teaches Ishibashi Sensei and me, said, “The enemy lies in the space between the attacker and us.” Someone attacks, because they have lost their connection to us. The attacker is not the enemy. I’m responsible for that lost connection. I’m responsible for the attack and attacker. They are asking for my help. I do my best to heal the relationship. Just train.
I match the attack in my attack. I match the occurring disrespect in my mad love and respect. I don’t defend. I don’t oppose. I invite the no respect. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough. My fear was truth. Everything quiet inside me. My image is that of mad love and respect. We are reflections of each other. We want the same things. We are the same. My friend asked for my help. I do my best to help her. I do what I can.
On the journey, we all want to fall madly and deeply in love with someone who will love us the same way back. To make the journey and not fall madly and deeply in love, that may not be a life at all. Still, we have to try. If we haven’t tried, we haven’t lived.
I have nothing to do with what goes on inside someone else. I have a say in what goes on inside me. I love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not. Nothing’s personal. It’s not all about me. My friend asked for my help. I helped her find her true love. I did what I could.
All kinds of attacks occur in life, some threatening, others not so much. There is no fight. Ever. Everything quiet inside me. I’m the image of my attacker. I change the image I give the attacker. Thus, I change the attack and the attacker. We are reflections. We are the same. I work on myself, not on others. I change myself. That’s all I can do.
Whenever someone asks for my help, regardless of how they ask, I try my best to help them. Nothing’s personal. I’m responsible for the lost connection. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough. I change my image. I change myself. That’s all I can do. Maybe, I can give life to others along their paths. At least I try to.
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Photo by Fares Hamouche on Unsplash
