Clear Signs You’re Ready for More than a Casual Relationship

Our chemistry was strong. Together we felt like we could take over the world. But there’s a catch…

He wanted nothing but casual dating.

Damn.

Sounds similar? I know. That’s what most people’s love lives look like nowadays.

If you asked me in my 20s, heck yeah, I’d be down for a casual relationship. But I’ve had enough and for once, I want something more than just the one-night.

The funny thing is, nowadays casual dating is very common. It’s even more common in men’s world where they want to get laid but don’t want to commit.

A study shows, men who hook up often find themselves feeling more satisfied sexually and overall a more positive outcome compared to women doing the same thing.

For them, casual dating isn’t the most preferable option long-term. It causes loneliness, desperation, and misery.

No one wants to be just “a fuck buddy” forever. It’s easier to get involved emotionally for women than for men.

So if at some point you feel like you need more than just a casual relationship, this is your sign to follow your heart and take the leap.

Signs casual dating isn’t for you anymore

You are no longer excited about meeting new people

You’re done swiping.

You don’t want to meet someone new.

You’re sick of sending another “hi! nice connecting with you here.”

If possible, you want to rekindle those old connections simply because getting new people is tiring.

You don’t have the same mental energy to do small talk and ask basic questions about what’s someone favorite color.

The phase of meeting someone new doesn’t excite you anymore because you already knew where it’s going.

Another one-night stand? No, thank you.

You’re craving emotional connection more than the physical

I knew I had enough of casual dating when I craved emotional bonding more than anything. Great sex is a plus you know what’s more addictive?

Having someone you can talk to ’til 2 AM and feeling like you’re safe and sound.

He gets you and you get him. Being vulnerable isn’t that hard anymore.

“Is it too much to ask?” you finally asked yourself.

People say they like casual dating because it’s nothing but sex. No emotional attachment — nothing.

But when it gets into your head and you feel mentally drained after every encounter, it’s a sign that the dating lifestyle isn’t for you anymore.

You change your old beliefs about relationships

Remember how you used to cringe at that one couple just because they look so happy?

It’s either you don’t believe it’s real or you think it’ll never be you.

But now that you’ve had dozen meaningless encounters, you’re just sick of it.

You start revisiting your old beliefs and put effort to change them.

Maybe “the one” doesn’t exist. Maybe you won’t be the best lover to someone but hey, better to find out yourself than left wondering.

Casual dating is like a drug — it takes time to break free

I knew there would be a hard challenge when I wanted to change my love life.

And if you have the same goal, you should know what to expect.

Casual dating isn’t for everyone — that’s for sure. But how many of them truly committed to making it stop and seek a healthy relationship? Not many.

Instead, they’re stuck with the same cycle for years and years. Until they drive themselves crazy and are in a desperate situation for a company.

This might sound obvious but the main reason why people can’t seem to cut ties with the casual dating lifestyle is because they don’t believe a healthy and long-term relationship exists.

But no one tells you to settle for less. I’d like to believe that everyone has a chance to try their best in finding the right partner for them.

Don’t know where to start? Here are some practical tips you can try:

Take a break from dating Apps. Yes, I’m dead serious. Delete them for a month or two and restart.
If you still want to give online dating another chance, try to set your intention before you even begin. What are you looking for? Do you know your “hell, yes”?
Build a connection with one person (or two max) at a time. Because more than that is just a waste of time.
Take it slow. Give people more chances because the truth is, no one’s perfect (and so are you). A real and healthy relationship takes time to build so avoid rushing it.

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Grab your FREE guide on healthy dating. Also, join hundreds of other kind-hearted people in my exclusive newsletter here.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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