Communication Stresses Me Out

I’ve had communication trouble since I was a little kid.

Talking to other kids scared me and I never really wanted to meet up with others. Nowadays, communication still stresses me out. Having online meetings, phone calls, and everything that requires talking to other people.

I’m now 20 years old and I must say that these issues have slightly faded away over the last 5 years.

Going to university has forced me to communicate with people and the classes in communication have helped me. Once you learn some basic techniques you understand why people do certain things in conversations — this doesn’t directly mean that you will be able to improve your skills but at least you understand what you’re doing right or wrong so that you can work on that.

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Phone Calls & Video Meetings

I never liked picking up the phone for my mother when she was busy in the kitchen, so I didn’t. I still don’t do it.

I hate making calls, especially with people I don’t know or with companies. The fact that you don’t know who you’re talking to and how that person is going to respond scares the shit out of me. I start sweating, shaking and I get nervous.

Video calls, are a little bit better, but still not something I likes doing. At least I can see the person’s face and expressions when talking but that’s the only positive thing about it.

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Communication in Person

You might wonder, what about communication when you talk to people in the real world? Well, that’s okay. I’ve developed my social skills over the years and talking to ‘real’ people is much easier for me than talking over the phone.

The thing that I don’t like is sudden conversations. I need to know when I’m going to have to talk. For example, when someone rings the doorbell I don’t open up if I don’t know who’s there. Could be the mail, could be the neighbors.

If I do open the door, it takes a lot of energy to talk and I’m mentally out of balance for a couple of minutes, sometimes an hour. During those conversations, I usually don’t say anything relevant. I’m busy thinking about what they’re saying and things like “have a nice day” don’t pop up in my mind.

These things can make people think that I don’t like them but I just can’t talk to strangers when I don’t know they’re coming.

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Wrapping Up

If you’re here hoping to get the magic formula to be able to communicate I have to disappoint you because there isn’t one. You gotta do it yourself in the end.

I tried to overcome these issues but it simply doesn’t work that way. As I mentioned before, I improved a lot over the last 5 years and within 5 years I probably will say this again.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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