Create a Single Life So Fulfilling That You Won’t Even Have Time for a Relationship

I never had a relationship until 27 years old. Those long years before meeting my ex were something that very few can comprehend. Imagine watching all of your friends and family finding love one by one, while you’re creeping into your 30’s having never experienced holding hands with someone or going to the movies alone with the opposite sex.

High school was painful. College was hell. Because I haven’t been intimate with someone emotionally and physically, romance started looking like a distant dream, one that I treated sacredly and over fantasized.

I put love on such a pedestal that I designated it as my life purpose and only happiness source. Everything I did was to attract someone special.

Then, after finally meeting my ex and attaining what I’ve been missing out on for 27 years, I realized that a relationship is indeed sweet. The stability, security, comfort, and knowing that I wasn’t alone in this world made me feel like I wasn’t wasting time on this planet anymore. I was finally living.

Fast forward to our breakup almost a year ago. I was once again single. And life was once again miserable. But this time, I know better to sit there and wait for someone to come to save me. I can be single and enjoying the shit out of it.

Really, I mean that. Many people preach the single and happy lifestyle, but what they’re doing is using their colorful single life to lure potential partners. There’s nothing wrong with that, except that, they’d much prefer being in a relationship over being single in the back of their mind. As soon as they return from their busy day and throw themselves into their bed, loneliness and emptiness soak up their heart again.

Having an abundant single life isn’t about filling a void left by an ex or making up for the lack of companionship. It’s about understanding that there are so many more streams of happiness outside of romance. You just haven’t been looking. In the past few months, I’ve discovered an infinite amount of activities to do, friends to hang out with, experiences to try, and goals to accomplish. It’s difficult even to fit dating into my schedule.

In a relationship or not, my life is already full. If I happen to meet someone, they will overflow my cup. I would have to cut some things out of my life to accommodate a girlfriend.

That, my friend, is how amazing a single life can be.

So for all of the single people feeling needy, sluggish, envious, or resentful, ask yourself what areas of your life can you spice up? Instead of spending hours swiping through dating apps and thinking about what to text next. Think about what classes or training are available to accelerate your growth as a human being? What career or investment opportunity can you jump on? What interesting events are going on in your area? What are your friends doing?

As you start to pick up different activities, not only do you build momentum in your life, but you also realize that, wow, life has much more to offer than you thought, you were never aware of it because you were too busy chasing after some hot chick or cool stud. You weren’t open to exploring on your own.

The girl who I’ve been pursuing is extremely active. From her, I learned to live life and have fun with or without a relationship. I’ve picked up golf, tennis, hiking. I bought a home Karaoke machine. I hit up old friends, met new ones, started investing, planning to upgrade to a new car, purchase a home for the first time. I just keep moving and living in this moment because right now at 30 years old, I don’t believe that I’m in a rush to settle down. Conversely, I’m in a hurry to experience all facets of life. There’s no better time to do it than when I’m single and free.

On the flip side, if we’re eagerly waiting for prince or princess charming to brighten up our dull lives, we’ll likely rush into an unfit situation. It’s like we’re in the middle of the ocean trying to find a boat or even a piece of wood to save us. What we really need to do is learn how to swim. Otherwise, we’ll drown without whatever ship we’re clinging onto.

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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.

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