Mark Greene summarizes Professor Niobe Way’s groundbreaking research on boy’s friendships.
–––
Professor Niobe Way’s book Deep Secrets documents her research on the social pressures boys face to abandon their close male friendships; friendships these same boys say without which they would “go crazy.”
Way’s groundbreaking and extensive research gives us a remarkable window into the dysfunctional messages boys get about their identity, relationships and their role in the world.
Here is a 30 second gif showing the process of emotional suppression boys face.
Click here to like Remaking Manhood’s Facebook page.
—
Read more by Mark Greene:
Guess What? Women Also Struggle With Emotional Expression
When “Check Your Male Privilege” Becomes a Bludgeon
Why Are Death Rates Rising for Middle Aged White Americans?
When Men Keep Demanding Sex From Their Partners Over and Over
How the Man Box Can Kill Our Sons Now or Decades from Now
Why Traditional Manhood is Killing Us
Why Do We Murder the Beautiful Friendships of Boys?
How America’s Culture of Shame is a Killer for Boys
The Culture of Shame: Men, Love, and Emotional Self-Amputation
The Man Box: Why Men Police and Punish Others
The Man Box: The Link Between Emotional Suppression and Male Violence
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer
Touch Isolation: How Homophobia Has Robbed All Men of Touch
Boys and Self-Loathing: The Conversations That Never Took Place
The Dark Side of Women’s Requests of Progressive Men
—
Funny how we suppress boys in having close friendships with other boys, but we don’t do it or tolerate with police officers, firefighters and soldiers who have been in combat even though they pay a price for having close friendship due to the nature of their jobs.
Great video Mr. Greene.
Just about everyone used cellphone and/or computers to communicate which can lead to a lack of being able to talk to people face to face especially when you need to sort out problems and issues at work and at home.
I’m not sure how myself and my close friends avoided this sort of conditioning, but we did. Expressions of love, empathy, have never been an issue for us, and we were street kids. It took nothing from us. People tell me that it is rare, but if it is, then perhaps our boys require more direct exposure to adult male role models, to actually see them, speak with them, rather then read what they may or may not think. It is why I am rather pleased that you’ve spoken the words rather then write them. Perhaps that is what is… Read more »
DJ, like you, I was able to avoid this sort of conditioning. My closest male friend ended up being my brother-in-law. Although through the years I lost touch with my childhood buddies, new relationships developed. ‘Iron sharpens iron” is what I thought of when your said “.our boys require more direct exposure to adult male role models, to actually see them, speak with them”. Countless boys have no healthy adult male influences in their lives. Another factor with today’s boys is the use of cell phones to communicate. Years ago guys would hang out together, do things together whereas now… Read more »