In 1993 when Dr. John Gray wrote Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus he thought he had composed a comprehensive book that could demystify communication between men and women. I would like to state he left out some quintessential translations that are key to relationships. I have learned over the past few months as a newlywed, how to break the code and will share my introspections for all to learn from.
My husband makes my world a place where I can’t wait to get up and live right by his side. I am realizing more each day that what our perceptions are, sometimes don’t translate the way we think they do. These are some of the communication realizations I learned in the last 120 days.
What I do: 5:30 AM. Quietly tiptoe to the bathroom using ninja-like skills with ballerina footing, managing to get from the bedroom to the bathroom in under 35 seconds. (Listen, everyone has to pee in the morning).
What he hears: Me finding every squeaky floorboard and slowly stepping on every inch of it for each squeaky pitch for about 20 minutes.
What I do: Once dressed for work, tiptoe in my stilettos, with stealth-like motion to the kitchen to prepare my morning travel brew.
What he hears: Clydesdales running through the house training for a new Budweiser holiday commercial.
What I do: Plug in the coffeemaker, noiselessly, while quaffs of coffee fill the house like a giant hug.
What he hears: A steam train passing through our kitchen. Granted it is my Mother in Laws Farberware pot from 1962, extra quaffing points for provenance.
What I do: Tacitly put away the dishes from the night before.
What he hears: Remember when our relatives used to bang pots and pans out the door or window for celebrations like the fourth of July or New Year? Nuff said.
What I do: Whisper “I love you, goodbye” as I leave the house for work each morning.
What he hears: Burglars and a home invasion that results in him jumping out of his skin, and swinging.
What I do: Plan a Sunday Funday and when asked who is coming I reply “ Just us”
What he sees: The children, fifteen of their friends, twenty of our friends, and anyone I ran into at Shop Rite in the last three days.
What I do: Put out his morning and evening medicine on the radiator each day.
What he sees: Oh, my wife left me breakfast, how sweet I’ll just take both cups to save time. After all, it has the same final destination.
What he does: Kiss me good night when he comes home and makes sure I am not a frozen popsicle or as hot as a full wooden stove.
What I hear: Nothing. I will sleep through a tornado. Apparently, he tells me that he asks if I am too hot or cold and I usually reply, “I’ll make tea”.
What I say: I’m running to the store to get milk.
What he hears: My wife is running to the store to get milk; she’ll be back in fifteen minutes.
What I mean: I’m running to the store for milk and anything in the remaining thirty aisles that might strike my fancy.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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