Suppose you’ve read any of my blog posts. In that case, you may have noticed that I often write about loneliness and relationships…as if I was some kind of expert.
The truth is that I am not an expert in anything except for being a human. An emotional human being, to be exact. I feel a lot. Over the past couple of years, I realized that my feelings are not abnormal but that many other people like myself go through the same experiences. This includes feelings of loneliness, being misunderstood, and even the struggles of living through life.
But I am here to write about romantic relationships between two people, and maybe you aren’t into them. Quite possible, you may consider yourself to be polyamorous, or perhaps you prefer to not put a label on it. I’m not here to judge, but I am here to let you know that generally, romantic relationships can be confusing to people in them and the people looking from the outside in.
To be honest, at the moment, I still don’t know if I am in a relationship or not.
Could you believe that? Because both of us are confused.
All I know is that I’ve been spending a lot of time with a gentleman, and he’s spending an awful amount of time with me. But that’s his choice (just saying). We’ve talked about what we are to each other. It has gone from “complicated” or “has potential” or “let’s see what happens” to thinking further down the line.
It’s sometimes hard to tell. But I sure hope our feelings for each other are mutual. But then again, how could we really know if we don’t talk about them or define them?
Relationship Labels
Not many people are into labels, which I totally understand. Labels are so restricting. Having a title is typically associated with “commitment,” and that word is enough to chase people away — even me.
Even though many people don’t like labels, let’s be honest…when it comes to explaining a relationship, a title or a “name” is entirely necessary. Having a label kind of simplifies things. They help us identify whether a relationship is “serious,” a “thing,” or casual or anything at all.
Maybe we avoid labels to prevent us from getting hurt or missing out on better opportunities. Avoiding labels avoids commitment. Instead, it allows us to see what’s out there without giving the other person authority.
It’s having your cake and eating it too. But then again, what else would you do with cake? Sniff it and call it a party?
Types of Relationships
When I was younger, I always thought that if a boy and girl liked each other, they were automatically boyfriend and girlfriend. To me, that meant that they would go on dates, hold each other’s hands, and kiss a lot.
Later on, as I got older, I learned about the emotional and physical parts of it.
I also believed that everyone married their boyfriend or girlfriend at the age of twenty-five. Don’t ask me why I thought that; I just assumed.
Little did I know, there were many relationships that I didn’t know about until later on in my life.
…and boy, do I realize now that there are a lot of options out there.
This may be a minimal list, and I apologize.
- Boyfriend/girlfriend — an exclusive relationship. Most likely, they have dated for some time and have finally decided that they are willing to have some sort of commitment to each other. Whatever that might be.
- Husband/wife — Almost the same as a girlfriend but now they file for taxes together. Paper documents are involved and most often a costly ring. It’s a relationship with a contract, with the terms “till death do us part, “…but this is a very loose contract. You can divorce anyone for anything these days.
- Friends With Benefits (FWB) — a relationship where the involved parties claim no relationship. But they use each other for the sake of filling in each other’s needs without commitment. Usually, hopefully.
- Polyamorous — The practice of engaging in multiple romantic relationships with the consent of all people involved.
- “Significant Other” — A person with whom someone has an established romantic or sexual relationship
- Partner — A committed relationship, for sure of some sort.
- “dating” — seeing each other in which there is some kind of potential of being exclusive (whatever that means).
- “Just talking “ — Just getting to know each other. There is some interest or potential is just that at the moment, both people are figuring out if the other is worth pursuing.
- “hanging out” — Spending time together but nothing has been talked about.
- “A Situationship” — okay, so I just learned about this one. I could be wrong, but it’s similar to the FWB. Almost too similar.
- A long-distance relationship (LDR) — A relationship in which two people are in a committed relationship but are separated geographically. It’s still up for debate whether 50 miles apart would be considered an LDR. But to each their own.
Why Relationship Labels Matter
Defining the relationship is essential, and it shows mutual respect for both individuals involved. It opens that window so that each person can understand the other.
Maybe a relationship doesn’t need a label per se…but rather, a continuous and dynamic conversation is enough to check in with the other person. Because relationships can grow, they can be stagnant, or they can be on the decline. It starts with a feeling, but if it’s not discussed, then it hard to address it. Misunderstandings happen all the time.
The most important thing to do in any relationship is to talk about it and not leaving each other left to assume what it is and what it is not.
In conclusion…
Even label-less relationships have labels whether you are into them or not.
Are relationships complicated? You bet!
When relationships aren’t defined, they are open to interpretations for both parties. This means confusion, and if things aren’t talked about, a potential and fulfilling relationship won’t even exist. Instead, it’s two people filling a void until the other person really knows what they really want.
What’s most important is that the two (or more) individuals making up the relationship communicate clearly with each other about what they want out of it.
Just to make the relationship stable, not confusing, worthwhile. I firmly believe communications have to be continuous and less of an inflexible contract. The people involved should try not to assume but rather address whatever the relationship should, what it could be, and the direction it should be going (if necessary).
I don’t know if relationships will ever be less confusing, but all I know is that putting a label on it makes it much less complicated.
Don’t you think?
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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