One of my favorite things to learn about other humans is what brings them joy in life. I find asking about joy helps people to notice the joy in their life. It is a terrific way to get to know something substantial about another person rather than how they feel about the weather. I recently asked a woman what brought her joy in life to which she replied, “I used to love to cook when my husband was alive but now there is no one to cook for”. I continued the conversation and asked her about what she loved to cook. The woman began to glow as she talked about some of her favorite meals.
A simple conversation with a woman that seemed to brighten her day, resonated with me further. I have lived alone for a large part of my adult life. Thinking about my own cooking habits really quite surprised me. I am far from a culinary wizard but I have never poisoned anyone with my cooking either. It has never been difficult for me to whip something tasty up from relatively few ingredients. However, I rarely take the time to actually cook a meal unless there is someone to share it with. Most nights dinner is some lettuce and random vegetables in a bowl doused in salad dressing. Other nights I may indulge in some crackers and cheese or pickles straight from the jar. Yes, this is, at times, adulting when you live alone (don’t act like you have never done it).
We tend to take the time to take good care of others and then neglect ourselves a bit. Do I only deserve to enjoy a good meal when in the company of another human being? Read that question out loud and it seems ridiculous. Yet, if the kids aren’t home, our partner is not going to make it home for a meal, or we simply live alone we rarely take the time to prepare and enjoy a good meal. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely days when pickles out of the jar constitute a good meal! There are the days when not cooking is the indulgence itself. But cooking something delicious or even extravagant should not be saved for only the times we are sharing a meal with someone.
Take the time to wine and dine yourself. Spending an evening creating a meal for yourself is a magnificent demonstration of self-love and making yourself a priority. Putting in as much effort into a meal that you would if you were making it for someone you care very much about then enjoying it alone is loving yourself. After all, you really did create the meal for the person you should be caring for the most…you!
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