Do You Want a Heartnership?

I even had a Blog Talk podcast for a few years called It’s All About Relationships.   I had the joy of interviewing people whose work touched on interactions with people, Spirit, the planet, animals and the self. By the time you read this, we will have acknowledged Valentines’ Day 2022. It is one of my favorite holidays because it celebrates my favorite state of being, which is LOVE.

My relationships exist to bring more love into a world sorely in need. When I consider the people who have touched my heart, they number in the thousands. Some are in my inner circles, including family, long time friends, lovers and those I have met through my teaching, counseling and Hugmobsters activities. Valentine’s Day is not only one day on the calendar and it is not just for lovers. I celebrate my relationships and love in all forms every day.

I am blessed to have many ‘anam cara’ (Gaelic for soul friend) and ‘water brothers’ (if you are not familiar with that term, read Robert Heinlein’s classic novel, Stranger in A Strange Land) among the overlapping soul circles that so enrapture me. Both of them speak to the sense of at-home-ness with the people I draw into my life. I marvel periodically that those for whom I feel a loving connection were once-upon-a-time, not even on my radar; didn’t even know they existed until…ta-da!  One day they just arrived on the doorstep of my heart, ringing the bell, asking to be invited in. With them, there was a recognition….”Oh, there you are, old/eternally ageless friend. Welcome back. Don’t stay away so long next time.” and we sit and sip tea and eat chocolate and share memories from eons and lifetimes ago. I was introduced to the concept by the work of the late poet and philosopher John O’ Donahue.

I’ve also learned that people enter our lives for particular purposes.

• Reason (a project or one time activity, a “guardian angel” encounter when someone steps in and moves you out of a dangerous situation, a fleeting/swoop by lesson)
• Season (a short term; perhaps a few months or years, interaction that teaches you lessons that you may not have learned otherwise.)
• Lifetime (long term connections that may begin at birth or anywhere along the timeline, that endures, perhaps despite challenges, or may even strengthen thus)

I welcome messages from the Beyond and the Divine is happy to accommodate my requests. A few years ago, this one came through loud and clear.

“You are here in this lifetime to experience big love. It may not look like you expect it to. It may come out of the blue.

It is expansive and abundant. It takes many forms. It enables you to go heart to heart with people and not just head to head. It is your wild carpet ride and magical mystery tour. It is breathtaking and dazzling.

It sets your feet to dancing and heart to leaping. It transcends definition and is completely unlimited. It takes you on unexpected flights of fancy and fantasy. It oozes from your pores. It is all-encompassing.

It invites you to change your mind about everything you thought you knew. It dares you to dream. It bolsters you when you are flagging.

It is unconditional. It sustains you when you feel weak and vulnerable. It allows you to say things you never thought you would. It gives you courage and scares the crap out of you at the same time. It is all you were, all you are, and all you ever will be.

Embrace it. It wants to embrace you.”

Sigh… it has been a few years, pre-pandemic, since I have been embraced by a lover. Since touch is my favorite love language, my tank is running a quart low. As a solo act/party of one, I wonder if there will be a significant equal to grace my life. I have settled into a comfortable routine with my work, friends and family. I spend time almost daily with my now two year old grandson and in a few months, he will have a sibling with whom to share love. Years ago, during a psychic reading, the woman, who I had never met and who knew nothing about me except what she was told by Spirit, said “Your Muse will be your partner.” At first I wasn’t sure if she meant that a human would be my Muse. After nearly 10 years, I am thinking she meant that my creative outlets would nourish my heart and soul. During the pandemic, I have gotten accustomed to being my own good company. I absolutely miss the comfort and meeting of skin hunger needs shared with a loving other. As someone who is happily single, I know that this person would need to enhance what is already good in my life and me, theirs. My pattern in some past relationships was to be the emotional, and sometimes physical, caregiver. Now, a recovering co-dependent, I have learned what I would and wouldn’t allow in any new relationships. I value myself in ways I didn’t before which provides more room to value another without attempting to earn their love and attention.

In previous years, I struggled as Valentine’s Day approached. I was widowed 23 years ago and my husband and I would give each other little surprises and treats. I do miss that. I recall one Valentine’s Day date with someone I met online and it was a delight. We stayed in touch for a short time after that, but realized we wouldn’t be compatible partners. That has been the journey in the past two decades. Reason and season relationships is what they were. Will there be a lifetime relationship? If there is, it would need to be a heartnership. We would read the book of love together.

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