So I was watching a Tedx Talks today on the placebo effect by a doctor. I agreed with a lot of what she was saying, but then she said the most important component of this effect is the positive attitude of the medical professional treating the patient.
I call bullsh*t on this.
Maybe it is true for some people, but it’s definitely not true in my case.
If anything, I have kept proving doctors wrong.
The first time I was diagnosed with cancer was in 2004. It was a very aggressive form of breast cancer — inflammatory breast disease. It was immediately categorized by my oncologist as type III cancer. It was very fast growing. My mammogram had been clear just a few months before I went to my doctor because my right breast had become red, inflamed, and pitted like an orange peel.
The first doctor I saw panicked. He immediately wanted to rush me into surgery, chemo, and radiation.
I told him to hold his horses. When he wouldn’t let me ask questions, my husband at the time stepped in and yelled at him to listen to me.
The oncologists told me I had 6 months to live. They were so sure I was going to die, that the nurse running the informational session for several new patients barely looked at me. She was friendly and warm to everyone else, but with me, she was cold. A friend of mine on the nursing staff later told me that she was trying not to get attached to me because she knew I was going to die.
Obviously, I did not die.
The second time I had to deal with cancer was when I got ductal carcinoma in the same breast. I finally did have a mastectomy.
The first doctor I saw told me that unless I got chemo and radiation I would not survive more than a few months. I told him I was only willing to have surgery. He then dropped me as a patient.
I found another doctor, however, and a fantastic surgeon. I told him I did not want him to remove any lymph nodes. He told me that he would do the best he could but he couldn’t promise none of them would be affected. However, he did try to follow my wishes. I think that is very important — that a patient is treated with respect.
Then, more recently, in April of 2021, I was diagnosed with metastatic brain, lung, and liver cancer.
My brain surgeon told me candidly he thought I might live 3–6 months and I would be in hospice for part of that time.
I am still around.
Obviously, doctors are not always right, and even if they think you are going to die, that doesn’t mean you are.
I have a great deal of confidence in my own ability to overcome adversity. I also have faith in God.
More specifically, I am a Christian and I believe in the power of Christ to heal.
That doesn’t mean He always does. Sometimes it is your time to go. None of us lives forever. However, from what I have seen with friends who have died — their faith comforts them through that process, as they believe they are going to a better place.
As for myself, I have felt comforted throughout this whole process. I have felt that God has supported me. So have wonderful friends.
Maybe I am delusional. Maybe I am wrong. But my beliefs harm no one and greatly comfort me.
I am fighting stage IV cancer. If you can help with medical bills, I would really appreciate it. Or if you enjoy my writing and would like to buy me a cup of coffee, that’s great too. Maybe someday I can return the favor.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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