Sometimes I catch myself thinking of someone who has hurt my feelings or harmed me in the past—I am only human. Then, I begin to realize that these are low vibrational energetic thoughts that are dragging me down. I have gotten much quicker to recognize when my thoughts turn to victimhood. It takes me to where I begin to feel old memories and old patterns of thinking.
I give so much thanks to spending nine months to become a Life Coach, six years ago. It has taught me to be aware of the energy of my thoughts. When I feel like a victim, I often see life with all its negativities rear up its ugly head. However, when I change my thoughts to more empowering ones—I see all the unlimited possibilities in my life.
Most of my most empowering moments have been when I faced my fears, and even though I may have experienced a lot of harm in my life, I will always state that I was my own worst bully.
Any time, I felt like my stories owned me, instead of me owning my stories—I was defaming myself. In my case, I overachieved at my work and my personal life to soothe my insecurities. I collected degrees to feel smarter and more worthy. However, I don’t regret earning four college degrees—I do like learning!
Gratefully, I am at a place in my life where I am wiser and more conscientious in my life. It took time to work on my personal and spiritual growth. Getting uncomfortable and busting through the hard stuff is my motto these days. When I hear people complaining about how awful their lives are it reminds me of my old self.
Yeah—I have been through very challenging times. However, it has compelled me to find the meaning in my experiences.
Usually, I see how a rough spot in my life has shaped me to gain a deeper understanding of why people can be either a blessing or a lesson in my life.
I am so much gentler on myself these days. When I catch myself beating up on myself for not working on my writing or something else—I realize that my intuition is telling me that I need less stimulation and perhaps, a break from work. I don’t have to hustle and put in the hours I use to in the past. Forcing myself to be busy for the sake of being busy, is “buying in” to the conditioning that others want for control.
I have learned to ask my inner knowing or intuition, what is the meaning of my experiences. As I trusted myself more—the answers would come quicker.
Life is not about beating up ourselves because we aren’t in the place we would like to be, or we have not achieved a particular goal. It’s about the journey and learning from every experience. It’s about honoring all that we have mastered—whether it’s small or large.
There is so much more peace in my life these days, and it’s because I chose to be best friends with myself. This ideology was not always the case. I would allow others to get in my head, but I was in my head more than others.
I have learned to turn off the negative “playbacks” in my head. They do try to sneak in on a daily basis. I recognize them because I start to feel low and undeserving. That’s the bully in me trying to take over. However, I never let that bully win. I know how good it feels to be healthy, empowered and happier in my life. I now shift my thoughts to ones that make me in charge of my life.
I interviewed former Good Men Project Editor Andy Grant about being your own worst bully on my podcast. He shared with me about his painful past and how he made the shift to a much happier life. I think you will appreciate his transparency and authenticity during our interview.
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