In Writer and Director Bong Joon Ho’s Mikey 17 (2025), Robert Pattinson plays Mikey 17 and Mikey 18, who are regenerated iterations or clones of Mikey Barnes in dystopian future 2054. Mikey 18 beats the shit out of the weaker Mikey 17. Mikey 18 asks, “Are you afraid to die?” Mikey 17 cries, “Kinda. Yeah.” He explains, “Once I die. It will be over, for me. It will be you living on. You get what I mean.”
In the parable, the student tells the Buddhist Monk, “I’m worried about dying.” The Monk says, “You are going to die, don’t worry about it.” Truth. Everyone dies. That’s our human design. So, don’t worry about it. The great paradox of life is that while we all live, we are all dying. There is life in every breath we take. Live in the present. Live in the moment. Just live.
In Aikido, Paviot Sensei said, “Enter the attack and die with honor.” In the end, I am going to die. If I’m going to die, I die with honor. In life, I live with honor, too. That’s what I do.
Mortality is not the great enemy. It’s the great ally. Mortality reminds that I choose how I live. That I live with honor. That I have mad love and respect for others. That I try to make a difference for them. That it’s not all about me. I love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not. I work on myself, not on others. That’s all I can do. Mortality reminds that I make my life useful, make my life meaningful, that I have a life that I love. I have nothing to do with what happens after I’m gone. I don’t worry about it.
In Aikido, Ishibashi Sensei said, “The purpose of Aikido is to release your fear.” Sensei said, “The safest place to be is under the attack, in the danger.” Hanshi said, “If you defend, you can be defeated.” When the bigger stronger man punches to my face, I wait it out. I enter the attack, enter what I fear. I take a glancing blow if I have to. I’m not always going to get away scot-free. It’s one time.
In the center of the attack, in the danger I apply nikkyo (wristlock) to myself and match the punch with yoko-iriminage (strike to the side of the head) to the attacker. I don’t defend against the attack. I don’t block the attack. I match the attack in my attack. I make the attacker defend. I make what I fear defend.
Under the attack, in the danger, I hold my position. Make my timing. I open up. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough, my fear of getting hurt, my fear of dying. Although my fear inside never completely disappears, every time I enter what I fear, I let go more of my fear inside me. One day I will die. Dying is scary. I let it go. I live in the moment, live in the present. I just live.
My time on Planet Earth is finite. My time has a beginning and an end. Time is undefeated. In mathematics, there are an infinite set of numbers between 0 and 1. There’s an even bigger set of infinite numbers between 0 and 1,000,000. Some infinities are simply bigger than others. Still, they’re all infinite.
I could live for 50 years, 100 years, or whatever. I create my infinity in my lifetime. I create my life. Why worry about the end that is a certainty? It comes whether I worry or not. Don’t worry about it. I have as much fun as I can for as long as I can. I live life.
I create my infinity in life, doing what I love for as long as I can. I train in Aikido with Ishibashi Sensei. I work with my therapist Lance Miller to heal my childhood trauma and depression. I write for the Good Men Project about loving and forgiving thine own self. I try to make a difference for others, try to help them become the greatest, they can be. I’m on the journey to find the love of my life on Match dot com. I’m 5’3”. I’m not handsome. I’m not exactly rich. I’m not what women want. No, I don’t check those boxes. I have fun sending messages to women I want to meet. I don’t get many responses. Still, I keep trying. Will I fall madly and deeply in love with a woman, who will love me back the same? Who knows. Lightning could strike. There are always possibilities.
In the First Noble Truth of Buddhism, there will always be suffering in life. The Third Noble Truth is the end of suffering. All suffering will come to an end, as do we. The Fourth Noble Truth is the path to end suffering. On my path to end suffering, I love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not. I work on myself, not on others. That’s all I can do.
I let go my suffering over dying. I can’t do anything about that. That’s my design. I do what I love for as long as I can. I have as much fun as I can for as long as I can, too. I do my best to make a difference for others and maybe make the world a greater place than when I came into it. That’s my sincerest wish. I have a meaningful life. I have a life that I love. I just live. I don’t worry about it.
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Photo: Unsplash
