In most cases, starting a new relationship is a lot of fun — though it can also be a little stressful. Consider this: Someone you enjoy and like feels similarly about you. However, even if both parties are on the same page emotionally, it is still important to keep things civil. There are certainly right and wrong ways to start a new relationship that can ruin the whole thing, no matter how much you love each other.
It is completely normal to feel a great deal of passion and attraction for the person you’re seeing, but being so enamored may lead you to ignore potential warning signs, such as whether or not their core beliefs and values are in line with yours.
Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., a relationship psychologist, at California State University, San Bernardino, gave her thoughts on the matter and offered some advice on the best and worst ways to start a new relationship.
She said the following:
1. Do maintain independence.
If you spend every waking moment with a new partner, you run the risk of losing not only your friends but also yourself.
According to Campbell,
“Partners maintain their sense of independence in the longest-lasting relationships.”
Keep working hard and seeing friends, exercising, and making time for yourself are also important.
Balance is essential because You may end up putting a lot of pressure on the relationshipp, making it to be your only source of happiness and fulfillment, that is if you make your entire life about your new partner.
2. Keep an Eye Out for Red Flags.
According to Campbell, ignoring red flags only serves to delay the inevitable end of the relationship.
She says that “they’re probably not worth investing in for the long-term” if, for instance, your new love constantly cancels plans, criticizes you, tells lies, or treats others badly.
Trust me when I say that when you like someone, it’s easy to put on rose-colored glasses because you want to see the best in them. However, it’s important to see more than just the good things about them.
3. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Campbell advises,
“Be direct and considerate, choose battles wisely, treat your partner well, and avoid destructive things like yelling, insulting, and judging.”
Do communicate frequently and effectively. Because you know your childhood friends so well, you may feel like you can read their minds. However, that kind of closeness comes with time, and unfortunately, your new partner and you don’t have years together. Be as transparent as you can because you can’t expect them to guess what you’re thinking.
4. Respect Yourself.
Treating yourself well sets a good example for how your partner should treat you and reveals what you will and won’t tolerate. There’s nothing wrong with being yourself, knowing who you are, and following your principles.” Also, take care of yourself.” If they call you with an impromptu date invitation but you need a night to yourself to put on a face mask and cuddle with your pet, suggest a different date night.
5. Don’t Forget to Talk About Your Sexual Health.
It’s not yet the time to have sex if you aren’t comfortable asking them about STDs and STIs or telling them about your sexual health.” Before getting intimate, wait until you are both at ease and having an open conversation about your health. You’ll be able to enjoy it more and feel more confident in the relationship as a result.
Additionally, you shouldn’t be ashamed to discuss sex outside of health. Describe to your partner what you like, dislike, and would like to try.
6. Don’t be close-minded but Keep an open mind.
The start of a new relationship should be light and fun, and things can become more serious with time. Try to remain open to trying new foods and participating in new activities. As a result, it might be best to limit the initial discussions to less contentious subjects.
7. Don’t negatively view yourself.
If you have things in your past that you consider less than ideal — for example, if you just got fired or your previous partner cheated on you — then find a way to discuss or disclose these things in a positive light.” It’s never a good idea to keep these things a secret because you want them to see you in a certain way.
Since no one expects perfection, it is unnecessary to conceal experiences that have shaped who you are today.
8. Don’t have sex too soon.
We live in a time of sex positivity, which means that you shouldn’t have sex with your new partner for the first time until a certain amount of time has passed.
Every couple has a different waiting period before having sex; There are neither too soon nor too long periods. Campbell declares, “The right time is when both people are 100% ready.” Because you are concerned that they will lose interest in you if you wait, having sex before you feel ready is the worst thing you can do in a new relationship.
Thanks for reading!
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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