by Daniel Ortiz
One day to another everyone will start to change Friends and family will start to fade
No one remains straight, like a bullet’s range I’ve got hate from brothers from my own gang
It hurts because it’s my family who say I be acting strange That I’m a bitch for leaving the game
It’s not that. It’s cause I wanna live and act my Damn age
I know I might never rap on stage
But it’s talent that I earned and locked in a cage
I might never be rich, but money Ima have to obtain
As for the gang, I have it in my heart and it will forever remain The love I got for 8lest is strong, I can’t even explain
‘Cause the same gang runs through our veins
Even though he tells me I’m a piece of sh– and a disgrace But I’ve learned to use my brain
And stop using drugs as a form to entertain
They’ve damaged my teeth, leaving permanent stains When I brush I see my blood go down the drain
I sit back and see the world as a damaged place Through my eyes I can see nothing but grey
But my melody I have to regain
In my short 16 years I learned evolution is true At one point you don’t know who’s who
And especially who are you
It happened to me, I’ve changed my views Contemplating all the garbage I’ve got myself into And the struggle I went through
And how my life has expired tags that I need to renew Sometimes I go back in time to review
How lousy I dressed in all navy blue
Till today my dreams I don’t think I can pursue
I need God or someone to give me a clue Of what the f— I’m supposed to do
‘Cause my old friends are covered in tattoos Their eyes bloody red as if drenched in shampoo Inhaling NOS out of a colored balloon
I see my life like an unfinished work of art I say this coming from my heart
Many make fun and say, “you’re fixing your life, do you even know where to start?”
Most say that I’m retarded, I’ve never been called smart That’s why I’m going to school so I can change
‘Cause in life there’s always a restart
Most don’t know what I want
I don’t need girls, cars or drugs
I want education, don’t matter the cost
It’s been months that I’m called soft or a 187 mark I’m told if I make it Ima forget about the hood
I will never forget my past— it built my character
So I’m out here taking nine classes, catching up on every semester Everything I learn I save like a collector
I only roll with the real, the fake got me peeping like a smoke detector
I want you to feel my feelings because my words are a projector Reason I talk at POPS is respect to Danziger, my mentor
I lived the thug life and already paid the price I lost a couple brothers to a bag of ice
Not once but more than twice
It’s a huge number so I can’t say precise
And it’s true, just ask the government hearing me through my device
I’m lucky to be alive in the sunlight It’s all because of God and Jesus Christ
I’m going through life as a blue shining knight
‘Cause in the streets you go in raw, bullets cook you up and your blood turns into lard
Me and society are playing poker, but I hold my last card ‘Cause I’ve lost all my chips to society, but I feel like I’ve been
robbed
At this moment in my life I’m going thru evolution The stress be killing me so I write as a form of solution
I’m turning my direction ‘cause heaven is where I wanna go It’s the only institution
I’m fighting to survive in the bullet debris pollution ‘Cause all my life has been an illusion
But I’m almost done, I can see the conclusion
I’ll end my life in battle in the black and brown against the white supremacist revolution
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